Goodbye 32 and Hello 33!

Last week was my birthday! We had the privilege of going up to Whistler during the Paralympics and hanging out a bit with my cousin Ricci and finally meet her husband Danny...we even got to meet Danny's parents briefly. My mom came up. It was so nice to see her and just hang out a bit. We got to stay at the Westin in Whistler for 3 sleeps! It was SO refreshing and relaxing. We swam every day in the hotel pool. It was lovely.
About the 2ND day in I started to get all creative and energized and that's when I realized just how draining, exhausting, etc. the last little while had been...so stressful that I stopped the workout program that I had started earlier. The stress paralyzed me in a sense. It was interesting. I am not sure why I freeze when high stress occures...but it is something that I do every time and have just realized that I do it.
Anyway, in my renewed creativity and re-energization (is that a word?) I realized just how disappointed in myself...and really upset with myself I was. I had stopped moving towards a goal that was really important to me and the fall-out was astounding in my personal life. I wasn't as good of a mother, wife, friend...really person. That too was interesting to realize.
So for this year for my birthday I gave myself a goal...to live this next year moving towards the goal of getting healthy, fit, and more active.
I really don't like talking about this. It's embarrassing to me how far my weight has gone. I have withdrawn inside a bit and am not the person I was because I am not comfortable with my outward appearance. It's a struggle that has been going on for about 10 years now. It seems to take me that long to some to resolutions...10 years! I may be slow but once I reach that point...and you all know that point...I don't normally look back. I can't think of one time in my life that I have yet anyway. Why does it take me 10 ? Seriously! I can think of several really important things that have taken me 10 years of processing and learning and thinking to finally move on! Baffling.
Another 10 year epiphany I have come to has to do with relationships. Not gonna go into detail b/c the struggles I have been having with some people do not need to be flouted across the internet...but I have come to realize that I try to hard. That may sound like a complement to myself but it's NOT! It's not a desirable character trait in a person I have come to realize. Not everyone needs to be my best friend. We don't need to work EVERYTHING out with EVERY person. And my husband is right...letting a person not be a close friend or even a friend is OK! You know how it is, some people you just click with and it was meant to be. Some people you try for 10 years to make a friendship and it's like running on coals or having the flu or bursting an appendix...it just doesn't work and it hurts. So I'm not doing that anymore. :) I know...I'm slow. But hey! Eventually I learn. I am learning to guard my heart. Not getting cynical or anything...and still able to interact in a civilized manner with them...
I also see myself not draining all my energy on those not-to-be relationships and having more time for the healthy meant -to-be relationships. :) More room for the good things God has laid out before me. Since I have let those other relationships go God has brought about 30 PHENOMENAL people into my life and I actually have the energy for them :).
So...that is where I am at right now. I love getting older! I love learning and living and being. I am learning to be in the moment more and more instead of an observer of the moment. :) I'm lovin' it...even without big mac, fries, and a coke. ;-P
And by the way I have again started to work out and work towards the goals I have..for about a week now. Yay!

Home again home again jiggity jig

Well I couldn't take it. After posting the last blog I booked it out of BC to cow town with the girls in tow to see Shaun and hang out until he was free to come home. We had a great time! We got to hang out with the Milner and Miller clans. What fun 6 adults and 9 kids pretty much take over anywhere you go. Let's see we had 3 six year olds, 3 four year olds, a 2 year old, an 18 month old, and a 8 1/2 months old. It was riot. The kids got along so well and played and played and played.

I hadn't been to Calgary since 2000. If I had to pick a city in Alberta to like it's Calgary. I have so many good memories there. That's the city that we would head to for fun times in college, that's where Shaun and I would go on dates when we were dating, and we lived there for a short while.

There is nothing like old true friends with whom you just know you are loved regardless. Shaun and I are truly blessed. These 2 families are amazing. Their children have the joy of children who have 2 parents who love them and whose families are stable and strong. In our world this is a rare and wonder gift to behold. I don't know...I've said it over and over again in this blog but it bears repeating. Friends that one has walked down the path of life with for a long time and still remain your friend are people to cherish. They are a balm to the soul. They are one of God's richest gifts here on this earth that is so full of heartache. They are a reminder of all that is precious and true. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful that we got to spend unexpected time with THESE friends over these last few weeks.

Hmmmm...I wonder who the city kids are?

So we were at my friend Charlene's house for a week. It was a great time. I thought I would relay a funny little bit of it. We had 6 small children and 3 adults (and then 4 adults the last few days b/c Shaun came) in 1,200 square feet. They are off the grid completely. Their house runs on generator and battery power. Their water is well water. At night all the power and water are off. The week we were there the hot water pipes were frozen for the most part so it was an adventure to get all the kids plus adults bathed. They have cell phones and no computer. It was a nice quite week in that respect. No outside demands. It was -30 C or so so it was too cold for the kids to play outside. So Charlene and I needed to be a little creative to keep all the little kiddies entertained. They live in a BEAUTIFUL country setting on 10 acres that Charlie inherited. The river just down the hill was frozen so we got to have a little walk on that our last day. They are a beautiful and happy family. I really enjoyed my week there. It was a quieter life in so many ways. There were times when I needed to go outside to get something and I would just pause and listen to the quite. It was restful and peaceful. Just what my soul had been craving. In all, as I said, it was a blast.
These city girls learned a few things. Mercedes, when we got back home here in BC, noticed that some lights were on and she walked over to them and turned them off saying "we need to save power". Another funny thing that happened was a few days before we left (now mind you pretty much all the outside walls are windows so you have a great view) a cow walked down a hill (which is part of their yard) and right on down onto the river. Charlie and his dad had seperated the cows from their calves that morning and she had gotten out and was rather agitated. Seeing her lasted for a matter of about 30 seconds. It was hilarious the reactions of the kids. Charlene's kids ran to the window and started banging on the window yelling at the cow...Mercedes stepped back to the middle of the room and Portia started screaming and ran to me terrified. It took about a half an hour to calm her down. It was VERY obvious who the city kids were. Anyway, Charlene and I had a good laugh over it. So I thought you might as well :).

Best Friends...

So the day that Shaun left for Alberta (January 7th) was the same day that our best friends moved to Kelowna. That was a very rough day for me. And somehow between their moving and Shaun being away for work and my realization that my mothering skills are lacking...well needless to say the inner thoughts of my mind have been rocky. I don't really like living away from them. We have always lived near each other since we were all newlyweds. We followed each other back and forth between provinces for something like 15 moves in 9 years. You form a deep bond in those kinds of things...and just our natures. Plus we've had 12 years of friendship, life lives, children born, jokes between friends...and Shaun and Trevor have had since they were 13 years old. It's really wonderful to have such best friends.
So on the way home we are in Kelowna for a few days to visit them. What a comfortable and refeshing thing to be "home".
To our best friends: You have made me feel just loved. You have treasured me. You have trusted me. You have loved me through these last years with great tenderness and care. You have shared your hearts and lives with me. You have given so much. You have loved my family deeply. My children adore you and your children. You have walked with me through thick and thin. Your hospitality has always warmed our hearts because of the love with which you give it and the excellence with which you do it. Shaun and I have often commented on the blessing of a friendship with another couple where all of us are friends. It's a rare rich gift, I think, in a lifetime. We are blessed to have gained this gift at such a young age. Now we have our lives to grow and live and share together.
It will be a vast change to not live by each other...but I am so excited for you. I am so happy that you were finally able to make the break and pursue LIFE.
Thank you for being our best friends.
May the NeyHuth tradition be for as long as the sun and moon rise on our lives. And may God be the sovereign over it all.
Love you...

Lessons I got to learn from excellent role models

Well these last weeks away from home have been hard and yet they have been good. I am so thankful that the girls and I got to go on a visiting trip. It was hard to be away from Shaun the majority of the time. It was hard on the girls...I am not interested in the whole single parenting thing when my spouse if alive and kicking. The girls are not interested either. We all need, love, and adore Shaun. We love to be around him. There is a reason why God made 2 parents...it's a necessary thing really. I don't know how single parents or parents who's spouses are unavailable do it. I know that they must be haggard the majority of the time it takes to raise a child. I applaude them and ache for them all at the same time...but that's a tangent for another day.
On a little, yet important, side note...my husband is the most amazing man I know. He just rocks my world on a regular basis with his ability to be a great man of God, husband and father. I am blessed beyond measure. There is no greater gift to me than that. We are not a couple that likes to be apart even for the day. Unfortunately we are not independently wealthy so "for the day" has to be. We are not pillars standing alone. We go on a premise that when the Bible says "the two shall become one"...it means it and so that's how we do it...and yet again here is another tangent for another day.
Ok back to my excellent role models...one of the good things that was amazing about this trip was that I got to visit some old friends from college days. I got to spend a week in each of their houses and just watch them go about life. They both have completely different lives, in some ways, but they are both amazingly calm and competent mothers. They cook amazing meals for their families and have dinner every night as a family. They just love their kids. They love spending time with them. They love including them in their lives in even the littlest things of every day life. They are happy families. They have husbands who are devoted to them and the children. They work as a team. The moms are calm and not much ruffles them. It was a wonderful thing to see...especially compaired to the frantic world I seem to live in at the moment. I doubt I can express to you what I saw and the good it did me. It's not that their world is perfect. It's that they are content in their world and work to be Godly amazing mothers. It's not that the job they are doing is not exhausting. It is. They face the same challenges any mother with 3 or 4 kids ,who are all 4 and under, faces. They just do it with grace. They do it with joy. It's a minute by minute choice for them. And that is what they choose. Their kids are amazing children because of it. There is not much strife in their home. I don't know but somehow I don't see that much when I get to glimpse into families. So I have to say I was honoured and blessed to be able to watch and learn much from these beautiful women who I get the priviledge to call friend. Thank you Andi and Char for being such gracious and strong women. You are beautiful to me. Thank for teaching me new ways to be a mom. My family will benefit from the lessons I learned from you in this last month.

To the self absorbed male:

Well today I was witness to something really neat. The guys downstairs (2 guys in their 20's and bachelors as of today but not for long) asked me if they could watch the girls for me for a bit so that I could have a break seeing as I was single-parenting it for the week. I thought that was so kind and sweet. But then I really started thinking about it. And I got a little teary it touched my heart :). In our culture how many 20 something bachelors do you know who would take 2 wee girls for a few hours to give their mama a break? I say NOT MANY! It was their only day off in the week. They are well connected and well loved so it's not as if they had nothing better to do. They both have a significant other. They so generously gave of their time. And I just wanted to give a shout out to them and say "Thank you"!.
So to the self absorbed male: Your days are numbered...when there are guys out there like that!

Friends and their children

I received a fabulous birth announcement from some of my best friends today. As I sat looking at the picture I looked over each of the faces of their beautiful children. They're each so precious to me. Then I started to ponder that...that they were precious to me. It really struck me. I started to think about their parent's friendship to Shaun and I over the years. How that friendship made it so that their children hold a special place in my heart. I wouldn't hesitate to do anything in my power to help these children. As the years go by I will watch them grow up...I will treasure them. If there is ever a time that they need me. I'll be there. Shaun and I have had our parent's friends help us and be there for us simply because we were our parent's children. That always amazed me. What a legacy from one's parents...the generosity of their friends. Although I've always been amazed and grateful, when I am the receptor of this, I've never really thought about it...until now...because it's my turn :).

Friendship is a wondrous thing...especially when it has forged through years of journeying together. Shaun and I and these friends went to college together, she was a roommate of mine, we got married within a year of each other, (in fact I bought a toe ring on the day they got married and haven't taken it off...it's a symbol to me of their marriage and that I am there to walk along side them no matter what they need) we had our first and second children within months of each other. We have laughed VERY hard together, we have fought together, we have cried together. We know each others history. We don't live near each other right now (although I'm sure our houses in heaven are very close) and they have forged a new path by having another beautiful baby... in all that we still call each other and it's like time never passes. Friendship...a true one, is a beautiful treasure, a rare gift. They are family.
I thank God for my friends. One of the priceless jewels that God has given to me.

Proverbs 17:17 says, "Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble."

Proverbs 18:24 says, "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family"

Provers 27:10 says, "Don't leave your friends or your parents' friends and run home to your family when things get rough; Better a nearby friend than a distant family."

May your friendships be a treasure,

Tama