I had an interesting experience the other day. Shaun and I were both grumpy. We were both feeling that the other was being irksome and so we decided to give each other a taste of the other's medicine (we, of course, figured this out later). You know how it is...snarkiness leads to more and more and more snarkiness. Now we, generally, have a pretty easy-going, happy, and good relationship. We work hard at our marriage. But this day was an exception and our darker sides won this round. It wasn't a big deal compared to some people I've seen at each other...but it was a big deal to us. We were just nattering and at each other. After we kissed and made up I got to thinking for the next day and a half. I was praying and asking God to show me exactly what my part in that exchange was.
First of all some good excuses: we were both very tired and not feeling that great, it had been an extremely long day and it has been some time since we've actually rested.
Are those good enough excuses to excuse that kind of behaviour? No. Not for us.
A few lessons I learned from this:
It was very clear to me how easy it is to, exchange after exchange like that, to lose your mates heart. It is a bit by bit thing I think. It's not an all of a sudden thing. But if you don't hold your sin nature in check each time and ask for help from God...I think that each of those kinds of exchanges would get easier and easier. You would lose that sweetness factor very easily. You lose that joy of walking life's path together and in-step. I've seen it repeatedly as I've observed people over the years. It's easy to let your heart get hard. It's takes repentance and humility to walk as one. Those two words, repentance and humility, are nearly impossible without God's help. I mean, you can do it but I think it's nearly impossible to do it in a healthy way and not lose your soul little by little in the process. With God, you can do it with health and not come out as a victim or a doormat. It takes living with purpose.
In that exchange I could feel my heart getting a little harder. It took my husband being the first one to be humble and ask for forgiveness for my heart to soften. It was as clear as day to me and it really startled me. I saddened me that I allowed my heart to get hard towards my husband. I had never done that before. I was NOT going to give in. Stubbornness and pride were at the forefront.
It was perhaps a 10 minute exchange but God was gracious to me and showed me the path those behaviours ultimately lead too...they lead to death. Death of a marriage, death of a family, death of a life well worth living.
It was a rather painless way to learn that lesson. But it was enough. It was sin nature at its finest...and it's stil l as ugly as sin.
First of all some good excuses: we were both very tired and not feeling that great, it had been an extremely long day and it has been some time since we've actually rested.
Are those good enough excuses to excuse that kind of behaviour? No. Not for us.
A few lessons I learned from this:
It was very clear to me how easy it is to, exchange after exchange like that, to lose your mates heart. It is a bit by bit thing I think. It's not an all of a sudden thing. But if you don't hold your sin nature in check each time and ask for help from God...I think that each of those kinds of exchanges would get easier and easier. You would lose that sweetness factor very easily. You lose that joy of walking life's path together and in-step. I've seen it repeatedly as I've observed people over the years. It's easy to let your heart get hard. It's takes repentance and humility to walk as one. Those two words, repentance and humility, are nearly impossible without God's help. I mean, you can do it but I think it's nearly impossible to do it in a healthy way and not lose your soul little by little in the process. With God, you can do it with health and not come out as a victim or a doormat. It takes living with purpose.
In that exchange I could feel my heart getting a little harder. It took my husband being the first one to be humble and ask for forgiveness for my heart to soften. It was as clear as day to me and it really startled me. I saddened me that I allowed my heart to get hard towards my husband. I had never done that before. I was NOT going to give in. Stubbornness and pride were at the forefront.
It was perhaps a 10 minute exchange but God was gracious to me and showed me the path those behaviours ultimately lead too...they lead to death. Death of a marriage, death of a family, death of a life well worth living.
It was a rather painless way to learn that lesson. But it was enough. It was sin nature at its finest...and it's stil l as ugly as sin.
