Monday, August 9, 2010

Portia and her phobia moments

Lately Portia has been driving us somewhat insane. I mean she's still adorable funny, smart as a whip, etc. But she has taken up being concerned about things killing her. Here's what I mean and it's been happening about 5,000 times a day:
"Mommy, Keiko breathed some of her germs on me. Am I ok?"
"Yes, Portia you're ok."
"Mommy" Mercedes' sleeve touched my arm. Am I going to catch on fire?"
"No Portia you're not going to catch on fire. You're ok. Stop worrying" I then explain what it takes to start a fire.
"Mommy, I breathed in a smoker (translation: someone was smoking and she breathed in the second-hand smoke out on a walk or something). Am I going to be ok?"
Yes Portia you will be fine Sweetie. Why are you so worried?"
"Well I just want to know if I will be ok."
"Yes Portia you will be fine"
"But Mommy is my nose going to catch on fire because I breathed in a smoker?"
"Portia is your nose on fire now?"
"No Mommy"
"You will be fine Portia. Your nose can't catch on fire from breathing that in."
"Mommy I looked at the sun. Am I going to be ok."
"Yes Portia you're going to be fine. But try not to do it on purpose"
Ohhhhhh Mommy I looked at the sun again on accident. Am I going to be ok?"
*sigh* "Yes Portia you will be fine".
~It's non-stop~
And then there is the night time when her imagination comes alive.
"Mommy" (in a little whisper right next to my ear at 3 am) I dreamed a lion was getting me. Can lions get me Mommy? Can they smell me?"
"No Portia. Lions live in Africa. That is very far away. They cannot get you and it's too far to smell you. You're ok. You are safe."
She climbs into our bed for a few hours until I am awake enough from her moving to take her back to bed.
~next night~
"Mommy!" (an urgent whisper into my ear and dreams again in the middle of the night) can my dreams become real?" I know where this one is coming from...a movie she saw.
"No Portia your dreams won't become real. You're ok. You are safe. I love you."
"Are you sure Mommy?"
"Yes darling I'm sure now go to sleep" Again she crawls into our bed until Shaun or I are awake enough to take her to her bed.
~3 months of this so far~ day and night.
But they are legitimate fears in her world. We have been trying to trace it back to where it started. And we were teaching the girls about the symbols on containers (like a bleach container). Some have a corrosive symbol, others have explosive symbols etc. And we think that's where it started. But we didn't teach it too them in a way to make them freak out. It's interesting how she reacted though. I have caught myself, lately, watching my warnings to her about things though. And I nearly lose it when other people warn her (even teasing) Like the other day she was playing a game on my i-phone and someone said "That's going to wrought you're brain". They were teasing but she took it very literally and almost lost it over that comment. It's just interesting what she takes literally and really worries herself over.
She was in Shaun's truck a few weeks back and her had brushed a windshield wiper fluid container and she FREAKED! "Am I going to be ok Daddy?" She was wailing...and really terrified because she saw a symbol on the container.
We try not to get impatient and brush her off. But some days it's very frustrating. Sometimes my answers have been through clenched teeth. I do have to say in the last week it's started to lessen. And that is a relief. We have also injected humor lately and that seems to work well sometimes.

A little flood and some perspective

This summer has had it's high points and it's low point. I often have things to say but it would not have any value. I often look forward to summer for it's lazy days in the sun. I love these days they are my most favourite. I look forward to them all year. I used to think I liked Spring the best and I really like Spring because it's so beautiful, so fresh, so new, so vivid. But I love Summer for it's warmth and sunshine. I love Summer because usually I can take the time to enjoy the moments.
Not so much this summer. Our house had a little flood...and I do indeed mean little. Want proof? Well here's a picture:
Doesn't look too threatening right? Wrong. The other side of the wall was way worse and then the insurance company found asbestos in the flooring that was under the flooring you can see in this picture. So now my kitchen looks like this:
which really doesn't look like much other than that you have to take a few things into account. The first thing is that all the stuff (cupboards and all that was in them) are in the classroom...which was ready for school starting soon. The appliances are in the TV room and all the flooring is also out of this room...the TV room couches, toys, TV, etc. are in the living room and the guest's really a gong show. We finally got approval for our renovation company to start the renos...but in the mean time not only is our house a gong show we have no kitchen. We lost our tenant because no one could live here for's all really been...the best word is overwhelming.
Anyway, it's been rather unsettling in all and rather costly for us on several fronts, my in-laws have graciously allowed us to come and go from their house as we please and friends have been fabulous...but we really are home bodies when it comes to sleeping in our own bed and we've been trying to make due. But in all we've really overwhelmed and a bit miserable going through this hasn't just been this...some other things I won't bore you with.
And yet...I was looking at a blog tonight and it really set me straight yet again on something that I have been thinking about through all of this...this is an inconvenience and not a problem. We still have all the necessities and in the end we will end up with a updated home. The blog I was looking at is The Big Picture. He always has current event posts up and it's all pictures. This one is about a flood ( a real flood as opposed to my "flood") that is happening right now in Pakistan. 1600 people have dies so far and it's only the beginning of the monsoon season. Now that is a problem. Makes my little inconvenience very minor. I imagine there are millions of people who would love to be "overwhelmed" in my situation instead of the one they find themselves facing.
Now there's some perspective. It's always good to have a dose of that every now and then don't ya think?!

A little trip

For 14 years I have been trying to explain three things to my wonderful husband: The warmth of the water in the ocean I grew up on, the sand on the beaches, and Disneyland. None of which he could quite grasp because he had never experienced them. You see I have mainly been in his world these last 14 years. He had had little glimpses of my "pre-Canada" life but really very little. This summer changed all that!
Over the last 3 years my dad and I have been able to start developing a relationship for the first time. I didn't grow up with him. But three years ago that started to change. I have had the privilege of starting to get to know him. Anyway, in the middle of July he got married to a wonderful woman and therefore we got to go down to Redondo Beach for his wedding. I got to also spend time with my little brother (who is 9 years younger than me)and little sister (who is 15 years younger than me) who I also did not grow up with and I guess technically they are my 1/2 brother and sister as we have different mothers but I find that technicality boring and I choose to ignore it because, well, I have come to just adore them. Anyway, now that I have aired a few of the family skeletons I shall move on... .
So in addition to getting to be apart of the wedding and getting to spend more time with my family, and getting to meet more family as Rosie's family is now family as well (I know confusing but you get what I'm saying) husband now understands about the warm ocean water (a completely foreign concept here in Canada may I just add) and the sand. He gets it. I mean he really really gets it. And that makes me so happy. I loved the look on his face the first time his feet touched the water.
And then my Grandpa sent us to Disneyland! And now Shaun totally gets that too. I have to say I was a little concerned about the whole Disneyland thing because Shaun hates crowds. BUT he LOVED Disneyland. And now he understand why I am mostly underwhelmed by many things in Canada along these lines because now he's been to a real theme park, seen amazing fireworks, and seen a real parade, and been on the rides. Nothing is like Disneyland...the original Disneyland (yes I have been to's very nice but not the same to me). I was also a little concerned because I haven't been there since I was 18 (15 years ago) and well you know how things can change...not my Disneyland. It was everything and more that I had remembered it to be. And I loved every single solitary second. And it was made amazingly more meaningful because now Shaun and the girls got to go. Am I gushing :)? I can't tell you what that meant to me. But not only did we get to go but we got to go with my brother, his girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend. And that made it even more meaningful to me getting to spend some time with them. :)
So in all this little trip was a pretty big deal in my world.