Monday, September 10, 2007

Meandering through my thoughts

I haven't posted in awhile. I have been so busy...doing what? who knows! I purpose to live in every moment yet the sum of it all sometime eludes me. I also haven't had anything just bursting out of me that I needed to blog about. Still really don't have anything important to say. Just thought I would meander through my thoughts. Isn't it funny how the seasons of life go.

I watch my children and am amazed that they are not babies anymore. We got rid of bottles last week. Yes my 4 year old was till using a bottle at nap time. Not sure why I didn't do it much sooner...just one more thing to spend money I didn't have on-sippy cups. We are working on Mercedes taking responsibility for her actions. That includes things like telling the truth the first time and not blaming others for things. Come to think of it I am still working on that one. No one can MAKE me feel a certain way...I choose it! No matter what they do to me...I choose how I respond...there is never a reason to get angry at someone. Hmmmmmm...yep! Still working on that one. Anyway, the other day something happened and I asked the girls "What happened?". Portia immediately piped up "Portia did it!" Not because she had but because she had heard Mercedes say that so many times that she thought it was the proper answer. I was just so cute! She sounds just like Mercedes...she had the tone and conviction of it all down pat. She is a very funny girl. She has a GREAT sense of humor. She does things, at 2, that she knows will get a laugh. I take more and more joy in our children with each passing day.

Yesterday Shaun's cousin's came over from Vancouver Island and they had a guys day. So the girls and I went to shoppers bought hair dye (for the mama), nail polish (for all of us), and little diamond (ish) rings (for the girls). We had a great girl's time. While they bathed I dyed my hair. I get bored with my hair on a regualr basis and I hadn't been able to go to the salon due to the new car (ohhhh yes...we got a new car...cherry red 2007 RAV4) so I took matters into my own hands. Now mind you, the last time I did that it ended up costing me $300 at the salon to fix my little impulse decision. This time I didn't highlight. I dyed the WHOLE thing one color. Not sure what I think of it and Shaun isn't going to tell me he doesn't like it because then I would just dye it here we are...a deep mahogany.

I run across many people...I like people...most days. I like just talking to people. Hearing about their lives. I like to run into someone I haven't seen for 10 years and catch up. That happened to me yersterday. I saw someone that I went to school with but never really knew yet always admired. I saw her and her husband at church yesterday. I had so much fun talking to them . It was an unlooked for bonus to my day. I like seeing people, I know, on the street and just waving as I drive by. I like meeting strangers. I like people...when I set me mind to it. Then there are days that I don't like anything that lives...U2 sings a song about always makes me laugh when I hear it. The song is called "Some Days Are Better Than Others" and one of the lines says "Some days you can't stand the sight of a puppy".

Now that I am the wise old age of 30 (hahahahahahahahaha) I can, at least, look back on life a BIT! I can see cycles, I can give more mercy and forgiveness than I would have at 20...well perhaps not more but with a greater capacity. I was thinking about a particular meaningful talk I had this summer. It was one I had looked to have 7 years ago...but it never happened. and looking back I'm glad. I wasn't a parent yet, I hadn't fallen so many times so hard, I hadn't learned so many of the lessons I have learned. I would have probably had a much more pompous response. I would have seen life from a completely different position. I would not have tried so hard to walk in this person's shoes. I would have been the one who would have had to seek more forgiveness in the long run due to not seeing the whole picture...arrogance That is truth...seeing a situation from all the belt loops instead of just mine....the belt of truth.

There are lots of things I don't have a clue about. There are lots of things that really hold not one ounce of logic for me. And yet...there are many beautiful things that inspire me every day. Here are a few (not in any particular order:

1) my children putting their heads together and giggeling over something

2) my husband playing with my children and making them laugh and laugh

3) that special sparkle my husband gets in his beautiful blue eyes when he looks at me

4) my mama who has been there every second of every day of my life....cheering me on and being a strong support and friend

5) my dad who is taking the time to be my dad...that takes a lot of courage after 30 years of not

6) my Grandpa (and Grandma) who has loved me since he first heard about me and showed me every way he knew how over a long distance

7) my friends who have been my friends no matter the distance between us and how many children we's the short conversations between screaming children that make all the difference in the world

8) God...who has watched over me and loved me passionately since my creation was a thought in His mind

9) the world He created...every sunrise and sunset I have seen, every animal, every leaf, every slowflake that flies, the wind on my face, water ebbing and flowing...and all the things I have yet to discover ALL remind me of Him. I am in awe of God just as my name means.

10) people I am just getting to know...who share some of themselves with me.

There are so many more things that inspire me and give me hope...but there's a few.