A Man's Reputation

I was reading the Proverb for the day and as it's the 31st that means I read Proverbs 31! The infamous Proverb about a wife of noble character:). But today I saw it with different eyes and it set me to reflecting on something.
Verse 12 says "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. " and verse 23 says, "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."
I was thinking back over all the women I have been friends with over the years and their husbands and their husband's reputations. You see it really doesn't matter how successful a man is in business or sports or whatever else he sets his hands too if his wife doesn't have a good word to say about him. The truth is people sum up what they know about a person based on a few things 1) their experience with a person and 2) that person's family's experience with that person...the latter carrying the most weight. And you know who carries the MOST weight in their summation of a person's character? That person's spouse.
You know how that man got respected at the city gates in Proverbs 31? His wife's words and actions towards him because even if she was a catty and difficult woman it still reflects on him. It still makes people pause and think because she is the one who lives with him day in and day out. She is still able to plant that seed of doubt be it absolutely true or completely false.
Think about it!
So men watch well who you marry but mostly how you treat your wife and children. Put more effort into that than your business. Be present. That respect you crave is easily won but not in the way our culture tells you it is.
And women watch well your words about your spouse...even in jest.

Resolve

I am going through Beth Moore's study on Daniel for my morning devotions. Today I completed the first week of 12. This last one hit the nail on the head so to speak. As you know I am in the process of losing weight one teeny tiny itsy bitsy baby step at a time. Well today's study was on "resolve". Daniel 1:8 starts with these 2 words "Daniel resolved...". Do you think Daniel would of had to "resolve" if it was easy enough to accomplish what he was setting out to do(which, by the way, was live a Godly life in the midst of a world that had no concept of that)?No he had to resolve because it was not just gonna happen and it was not easy...he had to be intentional about every moment of every day.
Now Beth was talking about Godliness and I figure I can use this concept in the area of physical fitness because the rule applies. She said "...never accidental. Neither is victory coincidental. Both stem from up-front, daily resolve. C-O-N-S-I-S-T-A-N-C-Y." Then she started talking about integrity. "The Latin word for 'integrity' means 'entire'. The essence of the term is wholeness and completeness. Integrity is 'the quality or state of being complete or undivided.' you can see, therefore, how much integrity depends on consistency." Then she contrasted perfection and the kind of consistency that breeds integrity. "...we will never reach perfection in this lifetime on planet Earth, but we can certainly reach consistency."
So I resolve.

My birthday loves

My Portia is 5!!!!!

My baby girl is 5! The last five I will experience as a mama. And what a five it is! She is a character to the hilt. There is not a boring bone in her body. She is downright hilarious, creative, my little joy bubble, stubborn and strong-willed but so very sweet, loud and yet quiet, particular and a complete mess all at the same time, a whirl-wind of motion, outside the box at pretty much all times, a complete cuddle-bug, emotion runs deep and long, one tough cookie physically. And yet she is private with her emotions. She gets embarrassed easily and is relatively shy when it comes to attention given by others. She is slow to give her affection to you but once she does you are lavished with such deep love. She LOVES giving cards and gifts to others. She spends a lot of time writing cards and making gifts for those she loves. She is lavish in her giving and she is not one to just randomly give gifts she thinks you should like...she observes what you like and then tries to find a way to get it for you. She has already memorize one chapter of the Bible and now she is well on her way to her second. It comes easily to her. You don't even think she is paying attention and then she out of the blue spouts the whole thing off to you. She loves animals. She loves flowers. She will stop where ever she is and crouch down and look intently at a flower and just soak in it's beauty. She notices the details. She is always making up songs that actually make sense and rhyme. Hers is a world FULL to the brim of colour, life, creativity, and adventure. It's all out. And then there is her other side...she is quiet and needs down time. She can putter for two hours entertaining herself and playing quietly. She is a loving, sharing, and fun sister...she has started to teach herself to write and read.
I love watching her and teaching her about God. The concepts she grasps are incredible. She thinks through these deep things and then comes back and asks profound questions and then goes away and thinks some more. She's a wonder that one.

She's only 5! I can't wait for the rest of her life. It's going to be FUN!
Our prayer for her: Lord give Portia wisdom and understanding. Do not let her forget Your words or swerve from them. Cause her to love wisdom and to value it above all other desires and accomplishments.

Stylin' Girl

I thought I would put up pictures of a sampling of Portia's creativity in dress. I don't dress the girls except for Christmas and Easter. Other than that they are free to choose their clothing in whatever order they would like to wear them.

I don't wanna vs. I didn't

The pain of staying the same vs. the pain of moving on. I have been experiencing that since January in regard to my personal fitness in particular. As I look back over my life there are windows of opportunity that I can think of that have never come again...things that I didn't grab the opportunity and run with and it has affected my life to this day. I love my life...but there things that I wish I had grabbed onto. And now I believe the time is now for my personal fitness. A person only has so many opportunities...even in the land of opportunity.
I have found such relief in doing something, even though it's not major, in the the area of exercise. It's like when I put off housework and then I finally just start puttering away at things...there is relief and I enjoy it and I wonder what took me so long...the mountain wasn't really a mountain.

Portia-ism

So Portia said to me one Monday, "Mommy I would like some girled chicken."
To which I responded, "GIRLed?"
"Yes Mommy GIRLed...grilled is wrong. It's girled chicken."
Mercedes and I had a good giggle...as did Shaun when I told him.
Oh the joy that little sweet beauty brings.

Whipping cream is "whooping cream"
Calamari is "calamardi"
Croutons are "Coupons"

There is no swaying her on these things. She is not a follower that is for sure! I love it!

A Run In...

Last week I had a run in with a person that was difficult. It cut deeply. It was uncalled for and mean and thankfully that person has since apologized. But it stirred up a whole batch of worms regarding other someones that I truly did not know what to do with and although that person apologized...well they will need to earn back trust. I will not be flinging my arms or my heart wide open to them anytime soon...not out of spite but out of...maybe wisdom. It's not safe. And I would be foolish to do it. And I don't like being foolish.

But it made me think again about conflict and conflict resolution and about life. I used to be one who always liked to hit a conflict dead on right away because I hate conflict so much I just wanted it over with. Then I went through just avoiding conflict and not addressing it at all thinking it would go away. And it did until that pile of dirt that had been swept under the carpet came to light again...and again...and again... Then I went back to shoving myself and everyone else through to a resolution whether they wanted too or not. Then I stopped talking about anything controversial because let's face it in a family of strong willed people, myself completely included, controversial just reads conflict. I would alter between letting people walk all over me to if you lifted a little toe in my direction you had better watch yourself. None of this was healthy behaviour and none of the self help books where actually helping me. And I was getting more and more angry. Then I "stumbled" upon a brilliant thing...I read my Bible. And I really studied it. And I am working on implementing what God has to say b/c really it does work...funny that.

So it all goes back to the armor of God in Eph. 6:10-18.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints."

This is taken from a series of sermons from Pastor John Fichtner from Liberty Church.

There is a key element in there for conflict resolution...the belt of truth. It's the very FIRST thing put on (vs. 14). OK so what it truth? In our world "truth" gets a little foggy! But really it's pretty simple. Truth is understanding every perspective on a situation. Seeing every belt loop. I like that imagery. It really helped me to make sense of it...because it you think about it as my perspective is one belt loop but seeing as the belt goes through ALL the belt loops even the ones on the other side of the waist...I need to take a look at all of them. If I only stick to my belt loop then I am stuck to my perspective. And my desire is not truth but to be right! So I have to choose between being a belt loop or will I have the belt of truth? On a side note...this has nothing to do with agreeing with other perspectives. I am simply learning what's important to that person, what they are feeling, and what they would like from me.

Secondly, Eph. 6:14 says, "Stand firm then, having girded your loins with truth". "Gird your loins" was a colloquialism that meant "be blunt". Just giving in or being a "nice person" is not a Godly trait. One cannot do that and have truth. Passive compliant people can be the most "controlling dominant: people, because they were never honest and thought it was a good thing. And since "truth us understanding everyone's perspective on an issue" it includes them understanding your perspective.

Understanding:

Provers 4:1,7; 2:11, 18:2, 20:5, Ps. 32:9, 49:20, Matthew 13:23.

In Matthew 7:1-5 Jesus talked about getting the log out of your eye before you get the speck out of someone else's eye. It goes in reverse too.

How blunt do you get? Proverbs 17 says " He who covers over an offense promotes love, whoever repeats the matter separates friends". Matthew 7:1 "By your standard of measurement , it will be measured back to you." Respond in kind...now blunt does not equal abrasive or mean.

Eph. 4:12-15 How does Paul define and infant? 1 Cor. 3 "Aren't you still infants? For since there is quarreling and strife among you, doesn't that prove you are infants? Instead speak the truth in love, we will in all things grow up."

Eph. 4:25-27, 31 watch the context- "in your anger do not sin", etc. The context is disagreements, and the solution is to speak the truth to your neighbor.

In Matthew 30 times Jesus said "I tell you the truth..." not "I understand or think about or imagine or impart" I tell you the TRUTH! Truth is not proven to be truth until you speak it outloud.

Speak truthfully:

Psalm 15; Proverbs 15:13; Lev. 19:17; Isaiah 45:19; Jeremiah 7:28;9:5; Zechariah 8:3, 16; Romans 9:1; Galatians 4:16.

Humility + Honesty = Truth

Psalm 51:6

Once you have argued their side you ask them to hear your side and get it. Most of the time people will. They may get feisty because they won't like the switch from you hearing them and understanding to "their turn". It's generally not a problem. Sometimes they simply won't do it. But if they won't you cannot really walk in relationship with them.

Mainly though there is one thing to remember...our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God...

or..."this is not an afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-and-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet.

**When you put on the armor of God you become indestructible because you have no enemy. You merely have a lot of teachers who will teach you truth.**

There is obviously more in depth to be had and if you would like that go to http://www.libertychurch.org/streaming/audio/topical_series.php and click on "conflicts". There are several GREAT sermons here that I have gleaned from and much much more to gain.

A big trip to....Reno

In the middle of April we got the privilege of going to see my family in Reno. Everyone looks at me really strangely when I say we went to Reno for a week. I guess people don't find it much of a destination. I was actually born there and lived there for a bit of my early childhood. And my mom's family lives there...as well as my dad and little sister. I haven't been around since then except for one spring break when I was 16 my mom and I went down for a visit. Shaun and the girls has never met most of my family and so this was a first for them as well.

I can't explain to you all that went on for me in this trip because there is just too much internally. It was good though.

There is nothing quite like your family of origin. Just being around them is nice. I've missed it. I just soaked in all the people all week. I don't regret not being around because I can't go back and change it but there is something about knowing where you come from, who your people are, knowing that they love you and being there for the hugs that is so important. There is a comfort there that can be found nowhere else on earth. I think it helped Shaun to understand me a bit more too.

I am so thankful that we got to go. I will mull over that visit for awhile. I am hopeful it will be a more frequent event.

And in July we get to go down to Rodondo Beach and visit with my dad's side...it's a big year. :)