Happy Birthday to my beautiful Mama

You're amazing! I don't know where you find the intestinal fortitude to do all you have done and all you do. You are such a sweet sweet giving woman. Over the years that I have had the privilege to be your daughter the example you have set before me and now the next generation of girls in this family is beautiful. As a mother you are selfless, generous, young at heart but wise in your way, brilliant, a God-chaser, forgiving, loving, a free spirit, hilarious, courageous, undaunted, creative, resourceful, determined, optimistic...the list could go on and on. But in all a mighty woman of God who loves without reserve and a smile that still reaches to your eyes.

I am blessed to be your daughter. My daughters are blessed to be your granddaughters. Shaun is blessed to be your son. You have set forth a legacy that is a treasure and that will not end. Life has not always been kind but you have traversed it with a grace and a beauty that is rare to behold.

Mark this woman for she is a woman of worth...a beautiful woman of worth. I know...I'm her daughter.

Mercedes turns 7

My precious Mercedes-girl! You have grown so. You are so beautiful and tall...my baby no longer. You are so wonderful. So caring and sharing and thoughtful. So sweet and generous. Justice is important to you. You love to run and play and ride your bike. You love doing that! You are still my outdoor girl. You love to cook and learn new things. You are so meticulous and careful. So trustworth and capable already! You are already a leader...a good one. My little eagle eyes. There is not much that escapes your notice.

Thank you God for entrusting her daddy and I with this treasure. The years are flying by... already at 7. Wow!

I will ALWAYS love you my girl. No matter what you may do...or don't do. It's a given! You are loved...and even more than I am capable of loving you...God loves you. Walk confidently beautiful girl. You are loved. Walk securely my beauty...YOU ARE LOVED by so so many but most importantly by your Creator. You are the apple of His eye. May you always feel His loving gaze and may you grow up to be His mighty warrior princess.

Happy 7th Birthday My beautiful Miss M.

Portia isms

So Portia is funny, surprising, and sweet! I mean we all know that b/c...well...I've told you!

-We were driving and she is like a dog on a bone when she gets something into her mind. No matter how much you answer her she won't let it go until she gets the answer she wants. This particular day I was very tired and I had answered her several times (my bad...generally I keep it to 1 time answer rule) so finally I said, "Portia ask Daddy when we get home." Which was really not fair to Shaun but I was desperate by this point. She, with much sympathy and speed responds in her sweet sweet little Portia-girl voice, "Why Mommy? B/c you just can't handle it today?". I must say that a lot!

- As I mentioned Shaun has been teaching the girls Psalm 24 before bed and Mercedes has it down pat. Portia has never seemed to be listening, nor has she said it at any point in the memorization period out loud AT ALL. She just putters while Shaun and Mercedes work. So, for once, Portia was done brushing her teeth before her sister. So Shaun asked her if she wanted to go over Psalm 24 before they started memorizing their next chapter. She looked at him and then just said the WHOLE chapter...no help...my 4 year old knows a WHOLE chapter of the BIBLE! Pretty cool! And what a smarty pants!

-Yesterday Portia was asking me some questions about Jesus and then she turned to me and said, "Mommy do you think "so and so" knows Jesus?" I said I didn't know if she did to which Portia responded ,"Well next time I see her I'm going to ask her...I've never asked her that before Mommy". She said it like she had just come upon a thought and then determined it was REALLY important to do. So Precious!

She thinks deeply but you don't realize it because she is usually laughing and making others laugh. Then she comes out and says the most profound things. Just like her Daddy that one.

The first chapter...

From the time the girls could sing with me I have put scripture to little songs and taught them Bible verse that way. They have several under their belt now and it's fun to hear them puttering around the house singing God's word. For a few months now right before Shaun puts the girls to bed every night they have been working on memorizing Psalm 24...all 10 verses. Shaun carefully taught them what each word meant so that they would not only recite it but also know what they were saying...words like "vindication". This was the first time they had set out to learn a chapter of the Bible.
2 days ago Mercedes came up to me and said the it in it's entirety with not one single bit of help all from memory. I started to cry. I don't know if you have ever heard a child speak something so precious to you. It was a sweet sweet moment that I will never forget. What a precious gift she gave me in that minute. I was also quite astounded and amazed! Portia can also say most of it but M has it down pat. I am so proud of her, so proud of Shaun for teaching them and so proud of Portia for listening and learning as well. After she said it the verses to me I told her that now she had that WHOLE chapter of the Bible memorized and hidden in her heart and I explained to her how important that was...she would have that treasure for the rest of her life. She thought about that for a minute and then just smiled in a thoughtful and sweet way. I could tell she was thinking intently about that and liking it.
Here is what she memorized:
The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;

for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ? Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.

He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior

Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob.
Selah (means pause and reflect)

Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

Who is he, this King of glory? The LORD Almighty—he is the King of glory.

And then she...

Portia appeared downstairs waaaaay after bedtime a few nights ago. She said "Daddy!" in a breathy excited voice with a little bit of a giggle and a little bit of awe thrown in. "Daddy, Mercedes and I were playing that I was the mommy and she was the baby and that I was singing her to sleep and she was pretending to fall asleep...and then you know what Daddy? She actually fell right asleep!" I asked her if she covered her with a blanket and she said, "yes I did. She's all cozy Mommy."

Mercedes had fallen fast asleep under Portia's bed. I just had to sneak up and take a picture :)

My Portia...what a sweet sweet girl you are. How I love you and your sister. :)

Goodbye 32 and Hello 33!

Last week was my birthday! We had the privilege of going up to Whistler during the Paralympics and hanging out a bit with my cousin Ricci and finally meet her husband Danny...we even got to meet Danny's parents briefly. My mom came up. It was so nice to see her and just hang out a bit. We got to stay at the Westin in Whistler for 3 sleeps! It was SO refreshing and relaxing. We swam every day in the hotel pool. It was lovely.
About the 2ND day in I started to get all creative and energized and that's when I realized just how draining, exhausting, etc. the last little while had been...so stressful that I stopped the workout program that I had started earlier. The stress paralyzed me in a sense. It was interesting. I am not sure why I freeze when high stress occures...but it is something that I do every time and have just realized that I do it.
Anyway, in my renewed creativity and re-energization (is that a word?) I realized just how disappointed in myself...and really upset with myself I was. I had stopped moving towards a goal that was really important to me and the fall-out was astounding in my personal life. I wasn't as good of a mother, wife, friend...really person. That too was interesting to realize.
So for this year for my birthday I gave myself a goal...to live this next year moving towards the goal of getting healthy, fit, and more active.
I really don't like talking about this. It's embarrassing to me how far my weight has gone. I have withdrawn inside a bit and am not the person I was because I am not comfortable with my outward appearance. It's a struggle that has been going on for about 10 years now. It seems to take me that long to some to resolutions...10 years! I may be slow but once I reach that point...and you all know that point...I don't normally look back. I can't think of one time in my life that I have yet anyway. Why does it take me 10 ? Seriously! I can think of several really important things that have taken me 10 years of processing and learning and thinking to finally move on! Baffling.
Another 10 year epiphany I have come to has to do with relationships. Not gonna go into detail b/c the struggles I have been having with some people do not need to be flouted across the internet...but I have come to realize that I try to hard. That may sound like a complement to myself but it's NOT! It's not a desirable character trait in a person I have come to realize. Not everyone needs to be my best friend. We don't need to work EVERYTHING out with EVERY person. And my husband is right...letting a person not be a close friend or even a friend is OK! You know how it is, some people you just click with and it was meant to be. Some people you try for 10 years to make a friendship and it's like running on coals or having the flu or bursting an appendix...it just doesn't work and it hurts. So I'm not doing that anymore. :) I know...I'm slow. But hey! Eventually I learn. I am learning to guard my heart. Not getting cynical or anything...and still able to interact in a civilized manner with them...
I also see myself not draining all my energy on those not-to-be relationships and having more time for the healthy meant -to-be relationships. :) More room for the good things God has laid out before me. Since I have let those other relationships go God has brought about 30 PHENOMENAL people into my life and I actually have the energy for them :).
So...that is where I am at right now. I love getting older! I love learning and living and being. I am learning to be in the moment more and more instead of an observer of the moment. :) I'm lovin' it...even without big mac, fries, and a coke. ;-P
And by the way I have again started to work out and work towards the goals I have..for about a week now. Yay!

and then...the storm broke.

Since posting my last post on "rest" it has been anything but restful. In fact I would dare say we are in a bit of a crisis mode. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say...if you think of it pray for us and for wisdom. It's nothing between Shaun and I or anything like that...so don't worry. It's just life.
I have been finding much comfort in the Bible. I was at my whit's end the other day and my Bible fell open to Psalm 37. What an amazing chapter! It just soothed my soul. A few lines stood out...
vs. 3 "Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper."
vs. 5 "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you."
vs. 7 "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act."
vs. 8 "Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm."
vs. 16 "It is better to be godly and have little than to be evil and rich."
vs. 23-26 "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread. The godly always give generous loans to others, and their children are a blessing."
vs. 39, 40 "The Lord rescues the godly; he is their fortress in times of trouble. The Lord helps them, rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them, and they find shelter in him."

There are a lot of little jewels in that one chapter. I have been mulling over them still. The word of God cleanses my soul. It strains out the gunk (that is the professional term).