A gentle correction...

This is a bit long winded but bear with me...
Many times in my life God corrects me by downloading a series of thoughts into my mind. He allows me the time to process them. It's as if He's gently leading my thoughts and guiding them to the conclusion that they need to come too in order to change my ways. That may sound bizarre. But hey! There are many bizarre things in our world that we take for normal and don't even bat an eye at. For me, this is a normal occurrence. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
Tonight we had home group. And it came up, in what we were studying, that God delights in us if we are His child. He may correct us but He never takes His delight from us even in the midst of that time of correction. This set me to thinking. Growing up I received correction (or discipline) from my parents. My dad would take his "delight" from me when he would discipline me. It seemed to be a very conditional love. It seemed, to me, more of a "you be perfect and I'll be happy with you...you mess up and I won't even talk to you or look at you I'm so disgusted with you" kind of love. As if by adding his disgust I would really get the point much better The way my dad handled it is not the point, by the way. The point is the fact that God delights in ME NO MATTER WHAT I DO...because I am His daughter. I'm just starting to grasp this concept...that it's even possible.
I am His daughter because I accepted the gift of salvation that He held out to me. In accepting I chose to accept the great exchange. A life for a life. I was bought for a price. Jesus gave His life for mine. My life is no longer mine but His. I do not live for my own interests or desires but His. This is a choice I make every second of every day. And in that acceptance of His gift I became His daughter and He delights in me. I thought I had better explain how I became His daughter in case it was foggy :). If it's still foggy ask me about it :). I would be happy to talk about it with you.
OK back to being delighted in...the next thought that crossed my mind was as question. How do I discipline or correct my children? Is it so that they still know I delight in them or is it a conditional discipline? You know those moments within the quiet of your heart when you know the honest answer the instant you ask the question? It was one of those moments. To my great shame, more times than naught, I must say it would be the latter.
This brought me to the next thought. I needed to repent of this way of being. This was not in line with my life not being my own. This way of being was very much for MY interests and desires...not His. By being this way I am misrepresenting my Daddy...shaming the family. Webster's dictionary defines the word repent like this: "to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life". To turn from and go the other way. My whole life part of my ritual for repentance (b/c I have repented for countless things in my lifetime thus far)...was something like this...pray and ask God to forgive me...then I choose to wallow in shame, guilt, and condemnation for a few days. Then I would allow myself to go on and go about turning from my ways. This, by the way, is a stupid ritual that has nothing to do with God or what He says He does once we repent.
As I was sitting there in home group tonight God reminded me of a story about Joshua. Joshua was a general of the Israelite army. He was not only the general he was the leader of a nation of about 3 million people. Anyway, in the book of Joshua there is a story of Joshua completely messing up. I mean he messed up BADLY. (if you want the complete story http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=6&chapter=9&version=65 make special note of vs. 14 and then keep reading until the end of Joshua...it's interesting). BUT Joshua repented and and he came boldly before God. And you know what? God turned his and Israel's sin into a greater thing than if they hadn't sinned at all b/c they truly repented. God fought for and gave 5 kings and kingdoms into Joshua's hands (think Afghanistan, mountains, caves, gorilla warfare...without all the modern day technology). It was the day that he asked God to have the sun and moon stand still (Joshua 10:12-14). There is a deception that says "Since I've done wrong I'm not longer permitted to be bold in the presence of God." Well this story should obliterate that lie from our enemy.
Having been reminded on that story I did something I have never done before, especially when it comes to messing up with my children...these most precious treasures that God has entrusted to Shaun and I. I looked into God my Father's face and repented (that's not the unusual part). I believed Him when He said, "And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him (Psalms 103:11-13)". That's the unusual part...usually I would wallow in the condemnation for awhile before I allowed myself to be forgiven. I turned from my wrong way. With His strength I will walk in the way that He has said is best...and you can see that delighting in your children, no matter what, is the best way...
I think about the times that I find great delight in my children...have you ever looked at a picture of a mom or dad just looking at their child with delight...it's a true thing of beauty. I just scanned through the pictures I have on my computer and found quite a few of a lot of our friends and family delighting in their kids. If we fall able humans can take great delight in our children how much more can God delight in us!
Here's some verses from the Bible...
Psalms 103: 6-18
God makes everything come out right; he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he's rich in love.
He doesn't endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we're made of mud.
Men and women don't live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here.
God's love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways
and remember to do whatever he said."

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Last Lecture reprise by Randy Pausch on Oprah Show

This is a very inspiring talk by a man who is dying.

A dedication of love...

On February 24th we had the privilege and the joy to be able dedicate our girls at church. Dedication simply means that we as parents stand up before our church family and make a commitment to raise our children to know God. We had done this in our home when the girls were little but we had wanted to do this corporately for a while but hadn’t been in a church family enough to call it “family” until now.

There were several things about that day that were extremely precious to us. Let me tell you some of them:
1) My mom (who drove all the way from south of Seattle just for the day) dropped everything on such short notice to be there…that is just her…she treasures us and our children. It is a great gift. We simply adore her.
2) Shaun’s Dad and Nan were able to come. We so enjoy living near Papa and Nanny. We have the best times with them.
3) My sister-in-law Becca and Jack and Sammy were able to be there. We have a very strong and sweet relationship with this family and the kids have a deep bond that is inexpressible. God seems to have given them these cousins irregardless that they are not “blood” by the true definition. They are blood in their minds.
4) Our friends the Vande Kuyt’s came. We went to college together.
5) A mom and tots group that a friend and I have run for the past few years…several of the family’s involved had their children dedicated on the same day
6) One of the most precious things was that Pastor Mark Francisco (our senior pastor and a close family friend since Shaun’s childhood) dedicated the girls.

7) The way our church family gathered around us and celebrated the moment with us was amazing. It was exactly for this reason that we had waited so long to do that which was so important to us.

I think I will draw on the sweetness of that day for quite awhile.

There are days in life that carry you through when things get very rough. When you feel that nothing is going right…when you are discouraged. That day will always remind me of the richness of the love that we, as a family, have been given. That no matter how things may look at the moment the truth is that we are loved…and loved deeply. It is a great thing and a stabilizing thing to realize.

Hmmmm...I wonder who the city kids are?

So we were at my friend Charlene's house for a week. It was a great time. I thought I would relay a funny little bit of it. We had 6 small children and 3 adults (and then 4 adults the last few days b/c Shaun came) in 1,200 square feet. They are off the grid completely. Their house runs on generator and battery power. Their water is well water. At night all the power and water are off. The week we were there the hot water pipes were frozen for the most part so it was an adventure to get all the kids plus adults bathed. They have cell phones and no computer. It was a nice quite week in that respect. No outside demands. It was -30 C or so so it was too cold for the kids to play outside. So Charlene and I needed to be a little creative to keep all the little kiddies entertained. They live in a BEAUTIFUL country setting on 10 acres that Charlie inherited. The river just down the hill was frozen so we got to have a little walk on that our last day. They are a beautiful and happy family. I really enjoyed my week there. It was a quieter life in so many ways. There were times when I needed to go outside to get something and I would just pause and listen to the quite. It was restful and peaceful. Just what my soul had been craving. In all, as I said, it was a blast.
These city girls learned a few things. Mercedes, when we got back home here in BC, noticed that some lights were on and she walked over to them and turned them off saying "we need to save power". Another funny thing that happened was a few days before we left (now mind you pretty much all the outside walls are windows so you have a great view) a cow walked down a hill (which is part of their yard) and right on down onto the river. Charlie and his dad had seperated the cows from their calves that morning and she had gotten out and was rather agitated. Seeing her lasted for a matter of about 30 seconds. It was hilarious the reactions of the kids. Charlene's kids ran to the window and started banging on the window yelling at the cow...Mercedes stepped back to the middle of the room and Portia started screaming and ran to me terrified. It took about a half an hour to calm her down. It was VERY obvious who the city kids were. Anyway, Charlene and I had a good laugh over it. So I thought you might as well :).

Best Friends...

So the day that Shaun left for Alberta (January 7th) was the same day that our best friends moved to Kelowna. That was a very rough day for me. And somehow between their moving and Shaun being away for work and my realization that my mothering skills are lacking...well needless to say the inner thoughts of my mind have been rocky. I don't really like living away from them. We have always lived near each other since we were all newlyweds. We followed each other back and forth between provinces for something like 15 moves in 9 years. You form a deep bond in those kinds of things...and just our natures. Plus we've had 12 years of friendship, life lives, children born, jokes between friends...and Shaun and Trevor have had since they were 13 years old. It's really wonderful to have such best friends.
So on the way home we are in Kelowna for a few days to visit them. What a comfortable and refeshing thing to be "home".
To our best friends: You have made me feel just loved. You have treasured me. You have trusted me. You have loved me through these last years with great tenderness and care. You have shared your hearts and lives with me. You have given so much. You have loved my family deeply. My children adore you and your children. You have walked with me through thick and thin. Your hospitality has always warmed our hearts because of the love with which you give it and the excellence with which you do it. Shaun and I have often commented on the blessing of a friendship with another couple where all of us are friends. It's a rare rich gift, I think, in a lifetime. We are blessed to have gained this gift at such a young age. Now we have our lives to grow and live and share together.
It will be a vast change to not live by each other...but I am so excited for you. I am so happy that you were finally able to make the break and pursue LIFE.
Thank you for being our best friends.
May the NeyHuth tradition be for as long as the sun and moon rise on our lives. And may God be the sovereign over it all.
Love you...

the man who brings the gift of joy...

There is a man who has a gift to bring joy where ever he goes. He brightens up a room when he walks in. If he comes into a conversation he can get people laughing in a matter of seconds. When he travels people anticipate his coming because they know that he is not only wonderful but that he will have them rolling on the floor laughing and that they will have the best laugh since last they saw him. It's a rare gift. You CANNOT stay mad at him...no one can. But those nearest to him know that there is no point in trying because he can make you laugh in about 5 seconds and all anger slips away like a mist. His children adore him and just love to be with him. They know that when Daddy is around there is so much joy to be had. His wife is fascinates and so madly in love with him. His friends love him deeply and always want him around. There is so much laughter and joy in their home because of him. It is the greatest gift a person can give.
Do you have the priviledge to know a person like that? I do. That man is my husband. I cannot tell you over the last 12 years how many times I watched and experienced the truth of this gift with myself and other people. I am thankful for it every day.
Thank you God for giving me such a husband...the man who brings joy to all he knows.

Lessons I got to learn from excellent role models

Well these last weeks away from home have been hard and yet they have been good. I am so thankful that the girls and I got to go on a visiting trip. It was hard to be away from Shaun the majority of the time. It was hard on the girls...I am not interested in the whole single parenting thing when my spouse if alive and kicking. The girls are not interested either. We all need, love, and adore Shaun. We love to be around him. There is a reason why God made 2 parents...it's a necessary thing really. I don't know how single parents or parents who's spouses are unavailable do it. I know that they must be haggard the majority of the time it takes to raise a child. I applaude them and ache for them all at the same time...but that's a tangent for another day.
On a little, yet important, side note...my husband is the most amazing man I know. He just rocks my world on a regular basis with his ability to be a great man of God, husband and father. I am blessed beyond measure. There is no greater gift to me than that. We are not a couple that likes to be apart even for the day. Unfortunately we are not independently wealthy so "for the day" has to be. We are not pillars standing alone. We go on a premise that when the Bible says "the two shall become one"...it means it and so that's how we do it...and yet again here is another tangent for another day.
Ok back to my excellent role models...one of the good things that was amazing about this trip was that I got to visit some old friends from college days. I got to spend a week in each of their houses and just watch them go about life. They both have completely different lives, in some ways, but they are both amazingly calm and competent mothers. They cook amazing meals for their families and have dinner every night as a family. They just love their kids. They love spending time with them. They love including them in their lives in even the littlest things of every day life. They are happy families. They have husbands who are devoted to them and the children. They work as a team. The moms are calm and not much ruffles them. It was a wonderful thing to see...especially compaired to the frantic world I seem to live in at the moment. I doubt I can express to you what I saw and the good it did me. It's not that their world is perfect. It's that they are content in their world and work to be Godly amazing mothers. It's not that the job they are doing is not exhausting. It is. They face the same challenges any mother with 3 or 4 kids ,who are all 4 and under, faces. They just do it with grace. They do it with joy. It's a minute by minute choice for them. And that is what they choose. Their kids are amazing children because of it. There is not much strife in their home. I don't know but somehow I don't see that much when I get to glimpse into families. So I have to say I was honoured and blessed to be able to watch and learn much from these beautiful women who I get the priviledge to call friend. Thank you Andi and Char for being such gracious and strong women. You are beautiful to me. Thank for teaching me new ways to be a mom. My family will benefit from the lessons I learned from you in this last month.