Ambushed and a lesson I learned about light

This weekend (for Canadian Thanksgiving) we got to go away for 3 whole nights to the Island of Galiano. It's beautiful there. We stayed at my in-law's cabin. It's right on the ocean. I had an interesting thing happen to me when I was there. On Sunday I was late to leave the cabin to go to church. Everyone else has left and walked down. I was about 10 minutes behind them. I left the cabin and was walking down a path that leads along the ocean for a few minutes. It's beautiful and refreshes the soul like nothing else. I had about a 10 minute walk (if that).

Now in my life there is rarely a time when I am outside just walking by myself in an area where I am unlikely to run into people (or bears and cougars...this island has neither :) yeah for Galiano) AND along the ocean. In fact I cannot remember the last time I took that luxury. On a side note, I am a person who needs moments of solitude. And yet in this season of my life I rarely have time to just soak in creation and quite my soul and listen. BUT this was an unlooked for opportunity for just that.

Anyway, back to my story. As I was walking it's like God just ambushed me. It was like He saw that I was alone and dropped everything to take those precious few moments with me. I know for someone reading this who does not believe in God this sounds weird. But I'm telling you it was amazing. You know when you love someone passionately you just love every second with them and will drop whatever you are doing to take whatever time they have? Well God did that with me that morning. He just started talking to me. I slowed down and listened intently. I cherished the moment. It was like He hadn't had time with me, like this, lately and He had so much to tell me. It just poured out. I was fascinated. I felt deeply and totally loved. Something that I have come to understand in my head (yet again sometimes the journey from my brain to my heart takes awhile) is that God loves me passionately. He sings over us...did you know that? Zephaniah 3:17 (it's one of those books in the Bible rarely mentioned :)) "The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." There are many more things said like that in the Bible all throughout. It's a strange thought to me but one I am mulling through. Makes me wonder what else He thinks of me.

The other experience that was noteworthy to me (in the parable sense of the word)...we went to another cabin's place for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday evening and had a delightful time meeting some fabulous people. They were so warm and welcoming. The only people we walked in knowing were Shaun's dad and mom and we walked out having met some amazing people and having had some great conversations. Anyway, we left first because the girls needed to get to bed and we had to pack because we had to catch an 8:25 am ferry which means that we had to be there 40 minutes before that to get our reservation honoured, it was a 30 minute drive and we needed to load the car...you get the picture...it was an early morning :). So Shaun, the girls, and I set out from this house for a 5 minute walk to the cabin we were staying at. It was pitch dark. We were in the country and so it was difficult to see our hands in front of our faces. It was an interesting challenge with 2 small children. There was no moon to speak of. Not sure why we didn't think to bring a flashlight...but there you go. Anyway, we walked down this road and tried to stay in the middle where the grass was (not a paved road obviously). We did this by trying to decipher what was grass, with shoes on, as we were walking blindly along. I really enjoyed it...we saw a million stars through the trees. But those stars, while they were beautiful, did nothing to light our path. So we shuffled along for awhile and we could tell we were on the right path...then we came to a cabin that had a porch light on. What a difference one little light makes in complete darkness. I immediately set to thinking about what the Bible says about light and darkness...
Matthew 5:14-16 says this "You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven".

Ephesians 5:7-10 says "Don't let yourselves get taken in by religious smooth talk. God gets furious with people who are full of religious sales talk but want nothing to do with him. Don't even hang around people like that."
You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it."
Those are just two passages. The Bible says A LOT about light and darkness. If you type in those 2 words together at http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/ There's a lot there. It's fascinating. I learned a great lesson by stumbling around in the dark that night. Literally and spiritually I need light for life. And what a difference one little light makes to a whole area of deep darkness.
And that was just one 12 hour stretch...never dull I tell ya!
I will leave you with something a king said about the word of God:
"Oh, how I love all you've revealed; I reverently ponder it all the day long. Your commands give me an edge on my enemies; they never become obsolete. I've even become smarter than my teachers since I've pondered and absorbed your counsel. I've become wiser than the wise old sages simply by doing what you tell me. I watch my step, avoiding the ditches and ruts of evil so I can spend all my time keeping your Word. I never make detours from the route you laid out; you gave me such good directions. Your words are so choice, so tasty; I prefer them to the best home cooking. With your instruction, I understand life; that's why I hate false propaganda.
By your words I can see where I'm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I've committed myself and I'll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything's falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your Word. Festoon me with your finest sayings, God; teach me your holy rules. My life is as close as my own hands, but I don't forget what you have revealed. The wicked do their best to throw me off track, but I don't swerve an inch from your course. I inherited your book on living; it's mine forever—what a gift! And how happy it makes me! I concentrate on doing exactly what you say— I always have and always will." Psalms 119:97-112

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path"...the words above are the context for that...:)
on the path,
Tama

Meandering through my thoughts

I haven't posted in awhile. I have been so busy...doing what? who knows! I purpose to live in every moment yet the sum of it all sometime eludes me. I also haven't had anything just bursting out of me that I needed to blog about. Still really don't have anything important to say. Just thought I would meander through my thoughts. Isn't it funny how the seasons of life go.

I watch my children and am amazed that they are not babies anymore. We got rid of bottles last week. Yes my 4 year old was till using a bottle at nap time. Not sure why I didn't do it much sooner...just one more thing to spend money I didn't have on-sippy cups. We are working on Mercedes taking responsibility for her actions. That includes things like telling the truth the first time and not blaming others for things. Come to think of it I am still working on that one. No one can MAKE me feel a certain way...I choose it! No matter what they do to me...I choose how I respond...there is never a reason to get angry at someone. Hmmmmmm...yep! Still working on that one. Anyway, the other day something happened and I asked the girls "What happened?". Portia immediately piped up "Portia did it!" Not because she had but because she had heard Mercedes say that so many times that she thought it was the proper answer. I laughed...it was just so cute! She sounds just like Mercedes...she had the tone and conviction of it all down pat. She is a very funny girl. She has a GREAT sense of humor. She does things, at 2, that she knows will get a laugh. I take more and more joy in our children with each passing day.

Yesterday Shaun's cousin's came over from Vancouver Island and they had a guys day. So the girls and I went to shoppers bought hair dye (for the mama), nail polish (for all of us), and little diamond (ish) rings (for the girls). We had a great girl's time. While they bathed I dyed my hair. I get bored with my hair on a regualr basis and I hadn't been able to go to the salon due to the new car (ohhhh yes...we got a new car...cherry red 2007 RAV4) so I took matters into my own hands. Now mind you, the last time I did that it ended up costing me $300 at the salon to fix my little impulse decision. This time I didn't highlight. I dyed the WHOLE thing one color. Not sure what I think of it and Shaun isn't going to tell me he doesn't like it because then I would just dye it again...so here we are...a deep mahogany.

I run across many people...I like people...most days. I like just talking to people. Hearing about their lives. I like to run into someone I haven't seen for 10 years and catch up. That happened to me yersterday. I saw someone that I went to school with but never really knew yet always admired. I saw her and her husband at church yesterday. I had so much fun talking to them . It was an unlooked for bonus to my day. I like seeing people, I know, on the street and just waving as I drive by. I like meeting strangers. I like people...when I set me mind to it. Then there are days that I don't like anything that lives...U2 sings a song about that...it always makes me laugh when I hear it. The song is called "Some Days Are Better Than Others" and one of the lines says "Some days you can't stand the sight of a puppy".

Now that I am the wise old age of 30 (hahahahahahahahaha) I can, at least, look back on life a BIT! I can see cycles, I can give more mercy and forgiveness than I would have at 20...well perhaps not more but with a greater capacity. I was thinking about a particular meaningful talk I had this summer. It was one I had looked to have 7 years ago...but it never happened. and looking back I'm glad. I wasn't a parent yet, I hadn't fallen so many times so hard, I hadn't learned so many of the lessons I have learned. I would have probably had a much more pompous response. I would have seen life from a completely different position. I would not have tried so hard to walk in this person's shoes. I would have been the one who would have had to seek more forgiveness in the long run due to not seeing the whole picture...arrogance That is truth...seeing a situation from all the belt loops instead of just mine....the belt of truth.

There are lots of things I don't have a clue about. There are lots of things that really hold not one ounce of logic for me. And yet...there are many beautiful things that inspire me every day. Here are a few (not in any particular order:

1) my children putting their heads together and giggeling over something

2) my husband playing with my children and making them laugh and laugh

3) that special sparkle my husband gets in his beautiful blue eyes when he looks at me

4) my mama who has been there every second of every day of my life....cheering me on and being a strong support and friend

5) my dad who is taking the time to be my dad...that takes a lot of courage after 30 years of not

6) my Grandpa (and Grandma) who has loved me since he first heard about me and showed me every way he knew how over a long distance

7) my friends who have been my friends no matter the distance between us and how many children we have...it's the short conversations between screaming children that make all the difference in the world

8) God...who has watched over me and loved me passionately since my creation was a thought in His mind

9) the world He created...every sunrise and sunset I have seen, every animal, every leaf, every slowflake that flies, the wind on my face, water ebbing and flowing...and all the things I have yet to discover ALL remind me of Him. I am in awe of God just as my name means.

10) people I am just getting to know...who share some of themselves with me.

There are so many more things that inspire me and give me hope...but there's a few.

What if...

What if...

God were to remove, from our lives, every last thing that we have not given thanks for? What would you lose? Your fingers? Your back? Your friends? Your kids? Your spouse? Your house? Your feet? Your country? What would the list be?