You know those times in life when every step you take you have give yourself a pep talk that "really! Keep GOING!" It takes tenacity and intestinal fortitude. It takes reaching waaaaaaaay down deep. The past nearly 10 months (as you well know if you follow this blog) have been beyond that. That wasn't even enough. In the midst of all the chaos and struggle and just trying to keep going I forgot one little thing...but one thing that makes the utmost difference...prayer. I mean I prayed. But I didn't work at it. I didn't spend time on my knees really really praying specifically...not for us and not for anyone else. All the noise of life simply took over and drowned out the very thought never mind the action.
I've always been someone who prays pretty much all day. God and I, we have a non-stop conversation...as that is basically what prayer is. I talk to Him and He talks to me. I ask for wisdom and He gives it to me. I thank Him for His mercy towards me...I thank Him for a never ending list of things. I pray for my husband and children and extended family and our friends...and my enemies. I don't pray or believe in God as a safeguard or as an insurance. I pray because God tells us to pray to Him and over time I have obeyed and I have found the joy in it and the blessing regardless of the outcome or circumstances. There is a peace that defies all understanding in it.
When I don't pray my attitude is not pretty. I have no patience. I feel far from people and relationships ans I really don't care. When I don't pray life seems beyond overwhelming. When I don't pray I feel very lost. When I don't pray I get depressed and can't see light from dark. It's like, in a way, I'm blind and fumbling around. I often feel out of control emotionally...a deep seated rage.
In contrast, when I do pray, no matter what life brings God undergirds me with the strength to see it through. He gives me peace that I cannot explain in the midst of it all other than to say "It's God!". He gives me joy even when it does not make sense. I do not have the same mental frailness that would be mine but for Him.
And here is a funny thing I have noticed...that even when I don't pray God still blesses me. He still loves me. He still disciplines me. He still walks beside me. He does not leave. He is a father who loves no matter what.
This past weekend I was reminded of the need for prayer. I am so very thankful for that reminder. It was a massive gift to me. So I'm back at praying. Circumstances have not altered but I have...thanks to Him and His gentle reminders.
I've always been someone who prays pretty much all day. God and I, we have a non-stop conversation...as that is basically what prayer is. I talk to Him and He talks to me. I ask for wisdom and He gives it to me. I thank Him for His mercy towards me...I thank Him for a never ending list of things. I pray for my husband and children and extended family and our friends...and my enemies. I don't pray or believe in God as a safeguard or as an insurance. I pray because God tells us to pray to Him and over time I have obeyed and I have found the joy in it and the blessing regardless of the outcome or circumstances. There is a peace that defies all understanding in it.
When I don't pray my attitude is not pretty. I have no patience. I feel far from people and relationships ans I really don't care. When I don't pray life seems beyond overwhelming. When I don't pray I feel very lost. When I don't pray I get depressed and can't see light from dark. It's like, in a way, I'm blind and fumbling around. I often feel out of control emotionally...a deep seated rage.
In contrast, when I do pray, no matter what life brings God undergirds me with the strength to see it through. He gives me peace that I cannot explain in the midst of it all other than to say "It's God!". He gives me joy even when it does not make sense. I do not have the same mental frailness that would be mine but for Him.
And here is a funny thing I have noticed...that even when I don't pray God still blesses me. He still loves me. He still disciplines me. He still walks beside me. He does not leave. He is a father who loves no matter what.
This past weekend I was reminded of the need for prayer. I am so very thankful for that reminder. It was a massive gift to me. So I'm back at praying. Circumstances have not altered but I have...thanks to Him and His gentle reminders.
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