Crossroad...a quandry

  Today was Mother's Day. It's Sunday, of course. We usually go to church every Sunday. We trek a hour each way for an hour long service...today...we didn't make it.  We are in a quandary about church. When we lived in our last home it was still feasible to continue going to the church that we have gone to for almost 6 years.  We LOVE our church. We LOVE the community we have developed. We LOVE that we get to be apart of the music ministry.
We tried with all of our ability to move nearer to our church...for whatever reason it didn't happen. We could NOT find a place to live that worked. Now by Sunday we are both SO tired and worn out from life at the moment that a day being gone all day just overwhelms us.
We are at a crossroads...
-if we are going to stay in this area (as we have for the past 3 years) we need to develop community here.  But, for us, that comes at a high price.If the girls will be going to school here we need to be involved in a church here.
-when youth group time comes we can't drive and hour each way (never mind traffic).
-We need to be involved in the community we live in. If we want to invite someone to church going to church that far away doesn't work.
I've been really really REALLY REALLY struggling and wrestling and praying about this the last week. Honestly, I don't want to live over here. Honestly, I don't want to leave our church. Apparently there is more at  play here though than what I want.
Here are my fears:
1)We won't find an amazing group of friends like we have...we waited a looooooooong time for these friends. They are special. I cherish them.
Conclusions on that fear so far:  Are we going to lose our friends? I certainly hope not...It will change the relationship somewhat.  I guess if we do then we really weren't that great of friends to begin with.
2) Are we really supposed to be here anyway?
Conclusion on that fear: well apparently we are not supposed to be anywhere else...
3) Will God leave be standing alone with no support or community if He has placed us here?
Conclusion on that fear: ummm NO! I look back over my life...God and I we have a looooooooooooooooong track record.  He has NEVER left me alone or forsaken....even when it's hard and it hurts...in the midst of it all...He is there. And in the end His plan is always perfect...mine...not so much.
4) I don't feel like either Shaun or I have the energy or the where with all, right now, to form a new community and get to know new people. The very thought...well it just is overwhelming and I could just sit here and cry. Especially since we have a VERY nice one just over the bridge.
Conclusion on that fear: Suck it up sunshine.  God will not give me more that I can handle. He promises and either I believe Him or I don't. Which is it gunna be?!
I imagine this will take some time. We will still trek, at least for awhile. And I think we will keep trekking to our home group every other Sunday evening. A transition. Oh how I'm coming to hate that word.
Facing reality is not fun sometimes...lately, for us, it's really sucked on so many levels. But we believe it's what we need to do so that in the end it doesn't suck. So that we can do what we are to do: be good stewards of what God has entrusted us with. Money. Parenting. Marriage. Friendships. and so much more. Each is a precious trust.
And we trust that this will all be worth it...it's just in the middle. Well. You've been there...it. is. really. not. fun.