Thursday, May 21, 2009

no reason really

Today was a day. It was a day that by the end of it I am sitting here just agitated. Today was a day where I cursed and got so frustrated I could have screamed and screamed and slammed my fist into a wall. And you know why? Nothing really! Nothing earth shattering! I did not get my mental list done. And I really wanted too. And my day was just annoying, one hundred little things worth of annoying.
This morning I ran errands. I started out an hour later than I had mentally planned forgetting that I had to drop our student off an hour and a half later than normal. I spent more money than I would have liked too. I was wearing my lawn mowing clothes so I did look so very attractive! Portia looked like no one owned her. I did not get the laundry started nor the grass mowed. I was mad dashing around Costco, Walmart, and Superstore...I think all the seniors were out in full force thwarting my fast-paced efforts at every turn. I was in a hurry because I had a open house to attend at a school that we put Mercedes and Portia on a wait-list for. That meeting went 45 minutes later than it was supposed to go. Annoying! Especially since I had 2 little girls with me who were hungry and tired...oh and so was I. One kept saying in a loud voice "Mommy when are we leaving this place?" with large amounts of disdain in her tone...bet you can't guess which one! I didn't even have time to eat for the first time today until 3:30 pm. That one always messes me up!
That meeting at that school bothered me to no end. I want to like the idea of a fine arts school. Really I do! In theory, it's an amazing idea. But just walking around the school I got really really uneasy. So me agitated is never good. And I found out Mercedes 204Th on the list which puts her getting into that school at oh MAYBE grade 6! Plus the girls, who were amazingly well behaved, upon leaving said they did not like that school AT ALL! Well girls I did not either! Which that brought me to another thought...see I had been looking at that school as a solution for schooling. And with it not really being one...leaves me swimming out in an ocean of WHAT!?
Then after running more errands (and getting my children some food) I came home to see our student sitting in the middle of our driveway in his friend's brand new Porsche convertible. I don't know, today that one just rubbed me wrong. I feel like our student is slumming it with us (as he will be getting a brand new Infinity G37 convertible next month..."they are so much cheaper here!" $70K later) and I am his maid! I'm not but today that is how I chose to feel upon seeing him and his friend sitting here smoking in the Porsche. Perhaps a little jealous!
Then the girls started tag-teaming me until Shaun got home and the house was still a mess, dinner was not ready, and tomorrow is my enduring husband's birthday. I, on my mental list, had a clean house and a lovely supper when he walked in the door on the agenda. But no when Shaun walked in the door I was in tears and needing to follow through on discipline with Portia. Oh and then I finally got the laundry in and Portia (who has been having issues with accidents since her urinary tract infection but she is getting better...you wanted to know that I know :D) had left a pull-up in one of her skirts and I missed it before putting it in the laundry. So the whole load was full of falling apart pull-up.
Then at 11 pm while I am cleaning up the kitchen and unloading and then re-loading the dishwasher, my student comes out and stands right in front of me (after peeing with the bathroom door open AGAIN...must talk to him about that one!) and says "OK now I am a little bit hungry what can I eat?." (I hadn't made supper b/c he wasn't hungry at supper time and we just ate leftovers). I think the blank stare, with mouth hanging open, I gave him probably made him realize that he wasn't getting anything from me. I simply couldn't think of anything to feed him nor say to him although I should have applauded his English. So he made some ichibon and then I felt bad that he was eating soup he had bought. Oh the guilt! And now it is 12:35 a.m. so I think I will do the bills and go to bed....how relaxing! Those are a few of the highlights there were a few more humdingers but I am not inclined to type those out as I am not over them yet.
What is the point of all that? Nothing really. I might feel a teeny tiny bit better though.If you ever think a stay at home mom sits around watching soaps and eating chocolates...come to my house...I'll set you straight and put you to work on one of the 561 things that was on my mental list for that day and didn't get done!
And yet I wouldn't trade my life for anything in this world. I wouldn't trade this day with my darling daughters for anything either. God is gracious to me. He let me make a complete grump of myself. He let me ask my children's forgiveness for being grumpy and He let me hear them say that I was forgiven and then 5 minutes later hear a reminder from my youngest that I was "STILL being a grumpy mommy"! My daughters are very forgiving and patient with me. I am thankful that they are. I am thankful for the reminder from a child of what I am supposed to be.

1 comment:

Julene said...

Thanks for your reminder, Tama: that life is not perfect in Canada. Sometimes I get to thinking that frustrating days only happen on this side of the world! And I'm thankful to know that the same Heavenly Father cares for & blesses us in our mothering & housekeeping. I too would not wish to do anything else.