I just did a "25 Random Things About Me" thing that is going around on Facebook. One of the things I put was "I hate girl's nights. I would rather spend time with my husband." I have gotten some ribbing about that. Women do not like that it seems. Let me clarify...and I may just rant a little.
I really enjoy nights out with some of my girl friends...more one on one nights out as opposed to a whole group thing. I rarely do it b/c I would rather spend time with my husband. But there are more reasons why I hate girl's nights. I dislike the general way the conversations go in regard to how they don't like this or that about their husbands. It really bothers me. I have been in situations where it happens often. It always turns my stomach. It seems to be the rule rather than the exception. I believe that we as women have that ability to honor our husbands in those settings by speaking well of them instead of tearing them down. Even when he does not "deserve" it. Really ladies it only makes us look bad not the men we are talking about. So go by the old rule in the case of husbands, "if ya don't have anything nice to say...don't say it at all".
Another thing that I do not like about "girl's nights" is the mundane conversations. I mean I get the first 20 minutes, or even 45 minutes, being about clothes and shoes...don't get me wrong I like these things just as much as the next girl. But when all a girl has got to talk about is counting calories and shopping trips things get boring pretty fast. I often sit and think..."I am taking precious time away from my husband and kids because ???????"
There are so many things in our world to talk about...so many interesting things! When I get together with old girl friends we have so much fun. I love THOSE "girl's nights"...although they generally happen in the middle of the day between taking care of a plethora of children....so technically they are not girl's nights I guess. But that is what life is and it's the spice of life to me.
Here's another thing... I enjoy the way things go down when my husband is around. He is SUPER funny. He's the life of any party. Where ever he is there is laughter. I miss him when he's not there to add to a conversation. I miss him when I go to a new place or hear someone speak and he's not there. I want to experience these things WITH him not with girls...that's why I married him...to do life together. I love sitting back in a group of people and watch him work the room. I love being by his side when he's doing it. He's my better half...why would I want to do stuff without my better half? I would rather be with my husband than with anyone else...that's the truth of the matter. I like you and all...:) I also like mixed groups better than just girls...always have and likely always will. It's so much more interesting!
I find the church the worst culprit for this...separating husbands and wives for events. Shaun and I have had many conversations about this. It's "good" for us to do things separately they say! REALLY!?! I'd like to know where in scripture we got that concept. Yes I know I am pushing buttons here b/c this is the popular thing at the moment. But honestly, more than anything I find it offensive. Life is busy enough and separating us enough without that added on top.
I get the whole valuing my friendships with my girl friends. And I do. I'll do a spa date or coffee any day girls. And the odd time I might even go for dinner and a movie without him. But please don't ask me to go away for the weekend with just the girls...I won't do it. And please don't be offended...I just like my husband better than I like you..no matter how wonderful you are :). It's just I've found that the best things in life ALWAYS INCLUDE MY HUSBAND!
3 comments:
Right on Tama ... You go girl. I feel the same way even though I do not go out on girls nights myself...
The world is really trying to pull apart marriages and couples so I think that your thoughts are awesome.
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When you can find an other married couple or two that you can all connect with and have edifying conversation it is awesome...
thanks again for letting us crash at your house this past week!
I must say that when I read that on FB I immediately turned to Ron and told him we are very alike. I would love to have some hobbies but find that when I have a chance to be home I will. I too love to be with my hubby and would rather spend it with him than anyone else. I often turn away nights out just because I would rather be with him. I've gotten it too. Must say nothing is better than a healthy marraige. Nothing anyone can argue with you on that! You go girl!!
I thought you explained yourself well. I too, LOVE to be with my hubby and would choose a weekend away with him over a weekend away with a bunch of church ladies. That being said...I still sometimes crave a close knit group of girl friends to hang out with on a regular basis. The kind that also love their hubbies and won't talk dirt about them. However, in this stage of my life, with young kids...it takes away too much from the precious few hours I get alone with hubby. So I hear you. I think that I will end up doing more girl dates when my boys are grown up and leave me!! Or maybe hubby and I will be exploring other countries!! I'm glad you have such a great man!
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