A little bit more sunshine

Did I mention that the little house we now live in...not only is it just the perfect tiny size, not only is it just the right price, it also has more sunshine.  For those of you who don't live in a rain forest this won't mean much to you...but for those of you who understand the seemingly unending days of grey that can come from living in a rain forest you will understand the beauty of that statement. 

While living in a rain forest has its perks.. like keeping your skin younger and the beauty of it...the grey definitely gets to you.  Some people aren't bothered by it but it seems many are affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It's a tough thing. I was never affected by it until after I had Portia.  For some reason now I am really notice it.  But I am finding ways to combat it... Vitamin D3, Vitamin B, some herbal pills that help with mental clarity, and if we can get to somewhere sunny in the Fall or Winter and I can stock up on sunshine I really notice a massive difference. I mean MASSIVE!  BUT all that aside, I've also noticed a massive difference in living in this part of the Lower Mainland. We are farther from the mountains and the river.  I can look to those areas often and see dark clouds while we have blue sky...not today of course, but often by 4 or 5 o'clock we'll have had a little bit of blue sky.  I can't tell you the difference that has made for me.  

~Another gift~

Nearer

My mom moved within a half hour to us.  I've never lived this close to any of my family since I left home.  It's so lovely! We can over to her house and it's not a big adventure just to get there.  She can come over to our house for dinner and it's not a big adventure for her to get here.  It's oh so much easier to be family and just hang out.  So much less pressure. 

She is a wonderful Grandmother.  She makes herself available.  I see the girls loving having her around more.  I appreciate my mom.  She makes time for us and her grandchildren.  She's not too busy.  This time while the girls are young is so fleeting. She understands the value of that time.  She understands the value of the little things too...that aren't so little.  Like she comes on Monday evening to watch the girls so Shaun and I can go to our weekly Bible study.  It's wonderful of her to take the time, it's wonderful for us not to have to worry about the girls during that time, and it gives us a once a week dinner date with her.  While we were gone she cleaned my house and did laundry.  Now for all of you over-taxed moms out there you understand the inexplicable value of this.  It was lovely to walk into our house and have it clean...and did I mention she comes irregardless of the fact that she has to leave her house at 5 am the next morning every week to get to Seattle?  Love in action that.  

~Thank you Mom. I'm so thankful you live closer to us.  It's a gift to us.~ 

A New Church

Well we finally made the leap. God has been gently leading us, since we moved to this new house last April, to become more involved in our community.  We, hesitated and  then we resisted and then we ignored Him hoping this particular ask would go away..not because we didn't want to be in our community but more because we have been quite happy, blessed, felt well loved, have amazing friends, and were quite comfortable in our church on the other side of the river.  But He kept bringing it before us over and over and over and over and over again. He made Himself very clear.  Every which way we turned was another nudge. We finally obeyed! 

I must say that when God asks you to do something it usually requires a change, often a big change.  I am coming to realize that I really am not fond of change, in my own strength...as much of a free spirit as I am. I went through a time of grieving about the very thought of leaving our church for a new one.  The people are family. When I walk in I see faces I love and who I know the story behind their smile. I miss each one of them. I miss getting to see them once a week and hug them and ask how they are.  BUT...He was asking this of us and when He asks He always provides the tools to get us through... His strength, His peace, His joy, His wisdom, and more.  There is no better place to be than in His method of change for your life.  If you don't know God this way...purpose too! You'll be in for the most meaningful, amazing, never boring ride of your life. If you have no idea what I'm talking about and think I'm crazy to talk about God this way...ask Him to open your eyes to His way so you can see the adventure that awaits you.  He promises that if you seek Him you will find Him.  He is not hidden to those who seek Him. 

Anyway, we tried to go to one church and it just wasn't where we were to be.  It was interesting watching events and seeing God's hand lead us in a particular direction.  So we are now going to an even bigger church than our last one.  We actually went to this church when we were engaged and first married.  One of the pastors from this church married us.  We even are already in a Bible study group (which in a big church is very important because then you don't get lost in the crowd). 

We are excited.  We are hating being the newbies but looking forward to two years down the road when we can walk into church and see faces we know and love and know the story behind their smiles.  We are encouraged!  We love being so close to home!  It's amazing to go to church and then get in the car and be home in 5 minutes. It makes our day of rest actually be that...a day of rest, which we desperately need.  It's amazing to have connections everywhere we turn in our community. Many of the families that attend this church have children in the girls' school.  It's nice to be able to invite people to church again. You can't very well do that when you don't live near your church. 

God's hand has been on us in this move. We have never felt His direction, His guidance, and His wisdom on our lives and our ways as we do where we are.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are where He wants us to be, doing what He wants us to do.   

I am also happy to report that some of those dear friends from our old church (still weird to say!) are still our dear friends.  I am also happy to report that we are starting to, at least put names to faces, and even begin new friendships...thus our 2 year goal is on it's way :D.  

~I am thankful~

She barely flinched

Yesterday Portia and I were at the mall and I asked her (as I have many times over the last year) if she would like to get her ears re-pierced.  She had gotten them pierced a month before she turned five and then let them close and really wasn't interested in earrings.  

Well! Yesterday, she got a huge grin on her face and said YES! So we went to Merle Norman (I like them because they do both ears at the same time) and she picked out her earrings (pink diamondy hearts...so very Portia). I reminded her that it would hurt. She nodded somberly.  She got very still as they were preparing to pierce her ears, which if you know the Porsh, is a miracle in and of itself...her being still. I held her hands and they pierced her ears.  Her eyes got as big as saucers for about 5 seconds looking straight at me.  But she didn't flinch and she didn't make a sound.  I quickly scooped her up and held her and then took her over to the mirror so she could have a look. She got the biggest grin on her face. She was quiet and fairly still (which those 2 combines tell you it really hurt as far as how she responds to pain) for about 5 minutes until I took a picture to text to Daddy and Mercedes.  Once Daddy text her back saying how pretty her new look was she couldn't stop grinning and hopping around.  We went and had lunch and then we went and got our hair cut.  Oh my goodness! All of a sudden my wee little six year old grew up before my eyes!  She asked to have her hair straightened. With the new earrings and the straightened hair my baby girl was a young girl!  AND she has her first loose tooth!  So much to process for this mama! My baby is growing up!  

Portia loves fashion.  It intrigues her.  She has quite a sense of it. She is always designing and creating.  She's quite the girl! She is a joy bubble, still, with that belly laugh that is so infectious. She loves to make people laugh and she loves to join them. That twinkle in her eye is irrepressible. Her little mind is always working.  As a family we are memorizing Ephesians 6. Man is she fast!  I think she memorizes each new part the quickest.   She is strong in spirit and in will.  She is a tiny little spitfire.  She knows what she wants and she is quite creative and persistent in trying to get it!  Quite a good trait when channeled in the correct directions. We love our girls. We look at them each day and say how blessed we are and what gifts they both are to us.

And then there's Chronicles

I know I know...1 & 2 Chronicles are not the most interesting books of the Bible...at least that's their reputation.  So I stuck with the common wisdom of the day for most of my life and kept far away from them as I was not interested in being bored. WELL! My goal this year is to read through the Bible completely. I know that is not really a massive goal or even an accomplishment but I must say that I've never done it. I've read most of the Bible but I've never read it straight through EVER! And really I'm embarrassed to admit that and it saddens me. So this year I have set about to remedify that.
I have this app on my I-Phone that I go too every day and it tells me what I need to read for the day to accomplish this goal for the year.  I started out doing it because I "should".  I've ended up doing it because I love it!  I read a Psalm everyday, something towards the beginning, the middle and the New Testament.  I tell you truly when I say I hear God speak to me every time I sit down.  He makes a different thing pop off of the page from the last time I read that passage.  I look forward to my morning time with my God.  It makes me keep it up. It makes me anticipate it. It makes me talk about it.  It makes me learn and grown and change...and go on and on about it apparently!~
Back to Chronicles.  I'm in 1 Chronicles and while the first 10 chapters of genealogies weren't that intriguing I kept my self entertained by trying to find names of people who had their stories in the Bible...it's always interesting to see where they came from. I also had fun trying to pronounce some of the names and say them with gusto. :) If nothing else it made me laugh and be thankful that my name usually only has to be spelled for people 1 or 2 times and then they have it. I mean poor Izrahiah. I'm sorry what was your name Isaiah?  No Izrahiah. Perhaps you could spell that for me?  I-z-r-a-h-i-a-h.  Ohhhhhh Isreal. No! Izrahiah.  Oh Ichiban? No Izrahiah.. :)  Ohhh (with that vague "I'm never going to remember that so I'm going to stop now" look and vacant smile). If nothing else all of us with names that need to be explained and spelled get a kick out of so many unfamiliar names.  
And then you hit chapter 10 and the story continues in a much more enjoyable form. Some chapters are facts written down. Some have emotion attached too them.  Some have a lesson in them that strike hard and fact upon your heart...like Chapter 21.  They make you think. They are a somewhat terrifying reminder that the veil we live under is thin and that there is another part of our world that we cannot see with physical eyes all the time but it's none the less there and sometimes a few of us get a glimpse of it. Like David in verse 16 "And David lifted his eyes and saw the angel of the Lord standing between earth and heaven, and in his hand a drawn sword stretched out over Jerusalem" I don't think I've read that account before!   It's also a reminder that while God does look at our actions He weighs our motives.  We don't serve a fluffy, loving Santa Clause.  We serve the God who has so many names and descriptors but He is the God over all.  King of kings and Lord of lords. 
I am enjoying my journey through Chronicles.    

What I Learned from 2011

Happy New Year!  Wow! 2011 was a humdinger of a year and I can't say I'm sad to see it go...well it was a humdinger and a gooder.  Doesn't it always seem that way...there are always two sides to the coin.  There were many lessons learned through pain, stress and tears.  There were many blessing given in the midst of all of that. There was massive massive stretching and changing.   In it all I really didn't have much to say as I got really tired of the same story of "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" running through my heart and mind.  But in the end I still can say, with unequivocal confidence, that God is...He is my Saviour, my provider, my sustainer, my joy, my comfort, my peace...the list is endless.
I was pondering all that was this year and thinking about what I learned (or am still learning).

*Shaun and I, in the midst of the intensity called our lives this past 12 months, really have had nothing more to give other than grinding out the daily stuff and keeping our home a happy home and a haven no matter what.  Some people were not ok with that.  They want you to give to them...even when you don't have more to give.  I had to come to a place where I was ok with them not being ok with me!  I had to come to a place of choosing my husband and my children over others.  It was (and honestly, still is at times) very uncomfortable but it's what needs to happen right now.

*We grappled with many things this year as far as direction for our family. We grappled with continuing to homeschool or sending the girls to school.  They had been on a waitlist for 3 years and both had a space available to them.  In the end sending them to that school has been a massive blessing and gift.  It is a fantastic school with phenomenal families...but I couldn't sleep, I cried, I worried, I stressed over that decision.  We grappled with staying in Langley as opposed to moving back closer to our church.  We are still grappling with that but it looks like, at least, for the next 13 years we'll be in Langley..and I'm ok with that...I'm more than ok with that...I'm good with that.  There were several other issues equally as heavy or heavier that were on the list this year that we worked through but those are two of the more obvious ones.

*I am still learning that worry doesn't add one minute to my life nor is it at all helpful.  I am really good at working myself up into a tizzy over something that is completely rocking my world.  I am learning however, that, in the end, it's not necessary and really REALLY does more harm than good.

*We are learning to be business owners instead of just going from job to job...we are starting to have a viable business and we are starting to actually have business heads.  It's hard work, it's exhausting, it's a non-stop challenge, and it's fun.  It's mostly fun because I get to do it with my best friend.  I'm never-endingly amazed at how our complement each others...we have completely different strengths and weaknesses but it works so very well.  We are the best of partners...this year we learned not to mess with that. If it ain't broke...

*I am learning that setting goals really does work...even when it doesn't seem possible or make sense to even bother.  I've always set goals...but only safe ones that I knew would be hit because failure was not an option. That's changed.

*I am learning that even though I am an adult and can do things it is SUPER amazing and nice to get help.  We received a lot of help this year in pretty much every area you can think of.  You know when you are most down and someone reaches a hand down to you and helps...it is a soothing balm and the greatest expression of love, kindness and mercy.  We were offered hands of help over and over and over this year.

*I learned I don't have to be best friends with everyone.  It's perfectly fine.  I don't even have to like everyone.  I can still be kind and thoughtful...but I don't have to like 'em and they don't have to like me...I'm ok with that now.  It's even somewhat of a relief if I'm completely honest.  It frees up so much mental space for me and makes room for those absolutely amazing people that come along.

*I'm learning to be more of a yes girl and less of a no girl. My first response has generally been a negative one.  This one trait has often made it so I have missed out on many amazing experiences and really living life...I more observed it and stayed safe.  Now don't get me wrong, in spite of myself, my life has pretty much been one amazing experience after another but there could have been more.  And I found myself hiding more than even I was prone too out of habit.  This last year I started saying "yes" a lot more and boy where there some fun times had because of it. And I'm not talking about saying "yes" in-spite of morals or ethics...I'm just talking about good old wholesome fun. There is lots to be had. This year I called more on my outgoing side of my personality than my shyer side.  It was fun.

*I have observed and learned this last year that letting go of something makes room...either for just having space (literally in my house or mentally, or in my soul) or for something else that is usually better for this moment.  I let go of a lot this year...weight, stuff, homeschooling, a house,friendships, the way things "should" be, insecurities...there is still more to let go of but I am getting better at it...and, dare I say, even enjoying it! Such freedom!

*I am still learning that God knows me so much better than anyone else...including myself.  He knew what I would need way before I did.  Our track record with each other is getting longer and longer and I must say...His record is impeccable while mine is quite dotty.  He gave me so many gifts this year that were so beyond what I could have even thought to ask for.  And He used amazing people to give them too me.

*I'm learning that sometimes life takes more courage than you think you have, more intestinal fortitude that you could ever come up with, and more stick too it ness than you could ever dream of.  Our motto this last year was "KEEP GOING!" And it was repeated often out loud to each other sometimes with a laugh and a smile but sometimes with tears and pain...one step in front of the other...KEEP GOING!

*I've learned a new way to look at failure and a new way to teach about it to our children.  Failure is good! It means you're working hard and trying. You're getting somewhere.  Failure is good as long as you get up and dust yourself off and KEEP GOING and learn.

So I leave you with that...Keep Going. Keep (or start) praying.  Keep Learning. The Author and Finisher is still working. He is still God.  He hears you if you call.
There is so much more to this life and the best is yet to come.
Happy 2012!

A season of no coffee dates.

Sometimes you just have to work harder than you've ever worked and learn more than you thought you could possibly absorb. There is no margin. Sometimes.
Lately...we've been busier than we've ever allowed ourselves to be.  I really don't feel like I have time for anything other than the necessities... I don't have time for a cup of coffee with a friend it seems. I have, however, been drinking lots of coffee but it's by myself in the office while I'm working away.
The good news is this...we are building this business. The girls are thriving in school. We have an established routine. Our home is a peaceful place. We are blessed. It's for a season...and when this season is more smoothed out I know those friends will still be there to have coffee with because, as I mentioned, we are blessed. One of those blessings...good friends to have coffee with even if there are long gaps in-between coffee dates.
So for now, I am content to work hard with no coffee dates.
There will come a new season soon enough...a season which allows for those longed for coffee dates.  I look forward to them with great anticipation.