My mom arrived on Wednesday and on Thursday she gave me an afternoon off and you know what I did? I didn't go anywhere. I closed the door in my room and just relished the fact that I didn't have to do anything nor did anyone need me right now...now the girls came in about every 20 minutes and wanted something but I didn't have to figure it out. I just sent them back to Grandma.
So while I was locked in my room I first of all slept, mostly uninterrupted, for 2 hours. Then I journaled. I have this journal that says "No one read this...you don't want to know". It's all the jumble in my head...the stuff that clouds up my brain and makes me think that life sucks. Well this time instead of writing I took some time to read through that journal that I've written in for 3 years when things get way beyond me. And you know what I discovered? I write pretty much the same exact thing EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME!!! I was perturbed. How is it in 3 years I have the same exact things that rock my world...and not in a good way? ...when, once I get out of my funk I realize that these pesky little lies, that I allow myself to believe, are simply not true. But I let them wreck my day or my week or my time with my husband and my kids. That is the saddest part. I can't get that time back. Time is so fleeting. It can all be gone in a blink...we are not guaranteed tomorrow. It would appear, at this point in my life, I choose to hold on to those silly things and allow them to ruin my day. But we (God and I) are working on that.
I wish you could see my life...and see just how beautiful it is and what a blessed woman I am...not because it's perfect...but because it's life.