Sad but Thankful

Today I came home from Calgary. I was in Calgary because Shaun is working there for...well he has already been there for 2 weeks and it could be another 4 weeks or it could be one more week. We'll see.
My mom graciously came and took care of the girlies from Thursday to Sunday so I could go and hang out with my husband for a few days. Last week Shaun came home after being gone for the aforementioned 2 weeks and basically slept the whole time as he has been working 12 hour night shifts.
Now here is what I am thankful for:
*I am thankful for God: my sustainer, the One who orders my days, the One who is all
*That Shaun has work and that he is a good and willing provider for our family
*That we are all safe and healthy
*That we got to see him.
*That this time away is not for several months or years
*That we love each other enough to achingly miss each other (even after being married for almost 11 years)
*The girls. I can't imagine life without them and they speak to me everyday of God and of Shaun and my love for each other.
*That the girls miss Shaun so much means that he is such an amazing and involved father that he is worth missing...a rare thing I think.
*That our bills are getting paid and some of our debt is getting a little whittled down.
*That I have a mom who is willing to give of her time, energy, and money so that I could go and spend some much needed time with my husband sans enfants.
*I got to spend an evening with my dear college roomie, Dorilee, and pick up where we last left off
*I am thankful for our students that live with us this summer. It makes the time not so lonely and miserable, especially Laura.
*I am thankful for Keiko my scary guard dog. She may lick people to death but don't mess with me or the girls you might find yourself on the wrong end of her rage.
*I am thankful that I got to go away from the girls and I am thankful that I get to be home and be mommy. I love my job. It's the best job in the world because of our girlies.
I am sure there are more things to be thankful for but that will do for now.
Really, Shaun being gone SUCKS! I HATE it. It feels like a part of me is missing and I physically ache. And you know what? I am thankful for that. I am thankful that after knowing him for 13 years I still love being with him and yearn to be with him and hate being away from him and can't wait to see him again.
Oh, and one more thing I am thankful for...that my husband HATES being away and he misses the girls and me. I am thankful that he can't wait to get home too!

The explanation...

I just did a "25 Random Things About Me" thing that is going around on Facebook. One of the things I put was "I hate girl's nights. I would rather spend time with my husband." I have gotten some ribbing about that. Women do not like that it seems. Let me clarify...and I may just rant a little.
I really enjoy nights out with some of my girl friends...more one on one nights out as opposed to a whole group thing. I rarely do it b/c I would rather spend time with my husband. But there are more reasons why I hate girl's nights. I dislike the general way the conversations go in regard to how they don't like this or that about their husbands. It really bothers me. I have been in situations where it happens often. It always turns my stomach. It seems to be the rule rather than the exception. I believe that we as women have that ability to honor our husbands in those settings by speaking well of them instead of tearing them down. Even when he does not "deserve" it. Really ladies it only makes us look bad not the men we are talking about. So go by the old rule in the case of husbands, "if ya don't have anything nice to say...don't say it at all".
Another thing that I do not like about "girl's nights" is the mundane conversations. I mean I get the first 20 minutes, or even 45 minutes, being about clothes and shoes...don't get me wrong I like these things just as much as the next girl. But when all a girl has got to talk about is counting calories and shopping trips things get boring pretty fast. I often sit and think..."I am taking precious time away from my husband and kids because ???????"
There are so many things in our world to talk about...so many interesting things! When I get together with old girl friends we have so much fun. I love THOSE "girl's nights"...although they generally happen in the middle of the day between taking care of a plethora of children....so technically they are not girl's nights I guess. But that is what life is and it's the spice of life to me.
Here's another thing... I enjoy the way things go down when my husband is around. He is SUPER funny. He's the life of any party. Where ever he is there is laughter. I miss him when he's not there to add to a conversation. I miss him when I go to a new place or hear someone speak and he's not there. I want to experience these things WITH him not with girls...that's why I married him...to do life together. I love sitting back in a group of people and watch him work the room. I love being by his side when he's doing it. He's my better half...why would I want to do stuff without my better half? I would rather be with my husband than with anyone else...that's the truth of the matter. I like you and all...:) I also like mixed groups better than just girls...always have and likely always will. It's so much more interesting!
I find the church the worst culprit for this...separating husbands and wives for events. Shaun and I have had many conversations about this. It's "good" for us to do things separately they say! REALLY!?! I'd like to know where in scripture we got that concept. Yes I know I am pushing buttons here b/c this is the popular thing at the moment. But honestly, more than anything I find it offensive. Life is busy enough and separating us enough without that added on top.
I get the whole valuing my friendships with my girl friends. And I do. I'll do a spa date or coffee any day girls. And the odd time I might even go for dinner and a movie without him. But please don't ask me to go away for the weekend with just the girls...I won't do it. And please don't be offended...I just like my husband better than I like you..no matter how wonderful you are :). It's just I've found that the best things in life ALWAYS INCLUDE MY HUSBAND!

10 Years

We were so in love on our wedding day. We promised to love each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do us part. We were so young. I was only 21. He was just 22. Everyone advised us to wait to get married...we were too young they thought. We should have more life experience. But we knew better. We knew that come what may we wanted to face it together...to grow up together. So on September 26, 1998 we became husband and wife. And you know we are more in love with each other now than on that beautiful fall day.

The last 10 years have grown us up. The last 10 years have made time tested lovers out of us, we've become parents of 2 beautiful children, we've become business partners, we've withstood through sickness, more moves than one can count on both hands, the internal and external flaws that the hands of time reveal...the list goes on and on.

I love that in my mate I see so much mystery and yet I see some much that is familiar and home. It's the perfect mix to keep me fascinated. He is the best father that I have ever seen. He is the best husband a girl could ever have. His love for God is an ever increasing fire. He not only says he values his family he shows that he values his family. He works so hard to provide for us. He has stayed true to his vows of marriage. He is so creative and FUNNY! He brings so much joy and laughter into our house. I am so thankful for my mate for life. He is my other half. And yes he does complete me...cheesy but oh so true.

I look forward to the next decade and the one after that and the one after that...as many as God gives us. I so love every day with my husband. He has brought me the gift of joy and the gift of love every day that I have known him...all 4460 of them.

Thank you DC. Words are inadequate for how blessed I am to be your wife.

the man who brings the gift of joy...

There is a man who has a gift to bring joy where ever he goes. He brightens up a room when he walks in. If he comes into a conversation he can get people laughing in a matter of seconds. When he travels people anticipate his coming because they know that he is not only wonderful but that he will have them rolling on the floor laughing and that they will have the best laugh since last they saw him. It's a rare gift. You CANNOT stay mad at him...no one can. But those nearest to him know that there is no point in trying because he can make you laugh in about 5 seconds and all anger slips away like a mist. His children adore him and just love to be with him. They know that when Daddy is around there is so much joy to be had. His wife is fascinates and so madly in love with him. His friends love him deeply and always want him around. There is so much laughter and joy in their home because of him. It is the greatest gift a person can give.
Do you have the priviledge to know a person like that? I do. That man is my husband. I cannot tell you over the last 12 years how many times I watched and experienced the truth of this gift with myself and other people. I am thankful for it every day.
Thank you God for giving me such a husband...the man who brings joy to all he knows.

Lessons I got to learn from excellent role models

Well these last weeks away from home have been hard and yet they have been good. I am so thankful that the girls and I got to go on a visiting trip. It was hard to be away from Shaun the majority of the time. It was hard on the girls...I am not interested in the whole single parenting thing when my spouse if alive and kicking. The girls are not interested either. We all need, love, and adore Shaun. We love to be around him. There is a reason why God made 2 parents...it's a necessary thing really. I don't know how single parents or parents who's spouses are unavailable do it. I know that they must be haggard the majority of the time it takes to raise a child. I applaude them and ache for them all at the same time...but that's a tangent for another day.
On a little, yet important, side note...my husband is the most amazing man I know. He just rocks my world on a regular basis with his ability to be a great man of God, husband and father. I am blessed beyond measure. There is no greater gift to me than that. We are not a couple that likes to be apart even for the day. Unfortunately we are not independently wealthy so "for the day" has to be. We are not pillars standing alone. We go on a premise that when the Bible says "the two shall become one"...it means it and so that's how we do it...and yet again here is another tangent for another day.
Ok back to my excellent role models...one of the good things that was amazing about this trip was that I got to visit some old friends from college days. I got to spend a week in each of their houses and just watch them go about life. They both have completely different lives, in some ways, but they are both amazingly calm and competent mothers. They cook amazing meals for their families and have dinner every night as a family. They just love their kids. They love spending time with them. They love including them in their lives in even the littlest things of every day life. They are happy families. They have husbands who are devoted to them and the children. They work as a team. The moms are calm and not much ruffles them. It was a wonderful thing to see...especially compaired to the frantic world I seem to live in at the moment. I doubt I can express to you what I saw and the good it did me. It's not that their world is perfect. It's that they are content in their world and work to be Godly amazing mothers. It's not that the job they are doing is not exhausting. It is. They face the same challenges any mother with 3 or 4 kids ,who are all 4 and under, faces. They just do it with grace. They do it with joy. It's a minute by minute choice for them. And that is what they choose. Their kids are amazing children because of it. There is not much strife in their home. I don't know but somehow I don't see that much when I get to glimpse into families. So I have to say I was honoured and blessed to be able to watch and learn much from these beautiful women who I get the priviledge to call friend. Thank you Andi and Char for being such gracious and strong women. You are beautiful to me. Thank for teaching me new ways to be a mom. My family will benefit from the lessons I learned from you in this last month.

An answer to a soul prayer

On Monday Shaun and I were reading the Bible together and he started reading Psalms 127. It says this:

1-2 If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.

If God doesn't guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.

It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone.

Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

3-5 Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.

Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children!

Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Now since starting this business we have been asking God to show to us how exactly He wants His business run. He has shown us that He is the boss and we are His stewards. We have been struggling with how exactly to balance work and family. That is really hard to do when you are starting a new business. I had had several conversations with people who said that it is not possible to have a balance. As I listened to that I couldn't settle with that answer. Shaun had been struggling with it as well. To the depths of my soul I was agitated and knew that this, for us, was not the answer. When Shaun started to read this I listened intently and then I just started crying. God had answered our prayer in the most profound of ways. It was as if He spoke directly to us. What a relief. There were 2 things in that passage that struck Shaun and I. One was that we don't have to strive for this business. He will lead us to what is profitable and we will work efficiently. The second thing is what our GREATEST gift is...our children!!! NOTHING ELSE. They are our priority. God has been really showing us that since this is His business He will take care of things. We are to be diligent but not strive. He will provide. Now this is TOTALLY contrary to our cultural philosophy on how to succeed in business. So...we are looking forward to seeing many unexplainable things in our lives :). This week we have really seen God work when we spend time studying the Bible and singing praise to Him...He has given us back the time and we have accomplished so much more than if we had simply gone to work.

You know the more I read the Bible I see it say the same thing over and over again basically the same thing...seek God and follow God, He will provide for you and bless your life. It says that throughout the Bible. Deut 6 and 8 has been on Shaun's heart. Matt 6 has been on my heart. They say basically the same thing. We were created to worship God. That's it! Everything else lines up if that is what we focus on.

Another thing that has really been reinforced to us this week is most of our hard work is done on our knees in prayer. So much more gets done. We've seen it even in this week. That is our testimony for this week.

thank you Jesus...

being diligent in Him,

Tama